I recently had a chance to review "Don't 'Should' On Your Kids; Build Their Mental Toughness," a phenomenal new book by Dr. Rob Bell and Bill Parisi.
The idea is that the professionalization of youth sports has created this crazy world of stressed out, perfectionist kids, overly-involved parents, and a high rate of burnout before the child has even reached their full potential. "Trophies over toughness," as the book states, has become the norm. And everyone is miserable because of it.

This subject is, obviously, of great interest to me. Our little Bear, officially a two-sport athlete, needs some confidence building. He figured out quickly that when playing soccer, as long as he keeps up with the herd, it looks like he's trying. He freezes, however, if the ball is kicked anywhere near him. Then he runs away. But soccer has been great because I get to enjoy being a parent on the sidelines, not a coach. That's an interesting ball of wax, needless to say, that requires a different set of skills.

Let's not forget - spring baseball is just weeks away. I'll be coaching again, in some capacity, and I want both of us to do the best we can. I want him to whine as little as possible. (...is that possible?)  More than winning games and on-base percentages, how do I help him grow as an athlete? When do I push, and when do I pull back? What do I do if he shows poor effort (gaaaah - my #1 pet peeve).  I want him to get the full benefit of being a happy, well-adjusted good player - how the heck do you do that? 

On a personal note, my softball and volleyball careers were short-lived - over before my 14th birthday. Why? Did I burn out? Did I just suck? I honestly don't know. But instead of doing a postmortem of the past, I'm choosing to focus on my new sport - running - and the psychological fortitude it requires. Anyone talking about mental toughness in any capacity has my full attention.

If you have a child that plays sports - or goes to school - or breathes oxygen -  ask yourself how many times you've said the following phrases (or a combination of these phrases): 

"You shouldn't make so many mistakes."
"You should have given more effort."
"You shouldn't be nervous."

All things, I'm sad to admit, that have come out of my mouth. It's so hard not to! We want the best for them, right? So why is this so freaking hard?

Dr. Rob and Bill break it down easily. The book is 135 pages, a quick read with easy-to-digest chapters. It takes you through how to handle all the parts that make up a season, including that all-important car ride home (here's a spoiler: don't talk about the game). The book offers great insight into how some children peak too soon, why others go on to play professional sports, and why the likelihood of your kid getting a Division I scholarship is very remote (sorry to break it to you). It also encourages parents to allow their kids to fail (shocking, I know!) AND how to tolerate loss while growing their passion. Best, not only do they tell you what not to do, they have simple, actionable items of what to do instead. Woohoo! You know I love actionable items.

One of my favorite chapters in the book is called, "Can't Want It More Than Them." They use the example of Herschel Walker, retired NFL player and winner of the 1982 Heisman Trophy. Back then, he was just a kid who was made fun of at school and avoided recess for fear of getting beat up. Frustrated he was losing his snack money and still getting beat up, he made the decision one day: never again. That summer, he did 5,000 push-ups a day, 5,000 sit-ups a day, and dragged an old tire around his yard by a rope tied around his waist. He turned himself into force to be reckoned with, a future Hall of Famer, and never got picked on again.

The point: imagine if his parents had told him he had to do all of those things. Uh...suddenly, the equation changes dramatically. 

It makes me think what would have happened if someone told me I had to wake up at 3:30 to run 20 miles. If someone told me I had to run X number of marathons a year. I would balk and rebel; we are all human, after all. That sounds horrible. But yet I did it (and continue to do it) because I want to. Without passion, it's just work. And the why has to make you cry. (love that line)

It makes me think of Scotty and baseball. I noticed about halfway through Fall Ball he couldn't wait to get to practice; he'd lace up and be in the car before I could fill the water bottles. He was totally okay with practices three times a week, and games twice. Five days of baseball; it was a lot. Was his behavior because of a love for the game? No, it was because after game or practice, the entire team ran to the playground and played this weird zombie game that looked like freeze tag. They never forgot where they left off after each game and it appeared this game had no end. At first I was annoyed he wasn't taking baseball seriously, then I realized - I don't care what his motivations are. If he is going to correlate loving baseball because he loves his new buddies, than that's fine by me. He's six, after all. He going without me nagging, pleading and threatening. If the lure of an undead game of tag gets you out the door, who am I to judge? After all, isn't this supposed to be fun?

I cannot recommend "Don't 'Should' On Your Kids" enough. Every chapter, I was reminded of another incident in our Bear's short but storied baseball and soccer career. I took notes, highlighted passages, and pretty much nerded out. I told Brian, "You need to read this before the season starts" to which he willingly agreed. Everyone should; because ultimately, it's not about division championships or college scholarships, it's about preparing our kids for inevitable loss and failure while developing resilience and courage. Will Scotty be a college athlete? I have no idea. But more important than performance, I want him to reap the benefits that team sports offer, to love being physically active, and to have the confidence and flexibility to handle challenging situations.

Big thanks to both men for sending me an early release of the book. You can find your copy on Amazon. The paperback retails for about $17.97 though in my opinion, the advice is priceless.

Dr. Rob is a sports psychologist with over 15 years experience and has authored three other books on building mental toughness. For more information, be sure to check out www.drrobbell.com and follow him on Twitter (@drrobbell). He even offers a weekly newsletter called "Friday Mental Toughness." Perfect before the long run and Saturday baseball game!

Bill Parisi, one of the founding fathers of youth performance training, was a two-time NCAA Division I Track and Field All-American that qualified for the Olympic Trials in the Javelin in 1988. You can follow him on Twitter @parisispeed.

I realize that the older I get, the more passionate I become about food and diet. Not just food, but good, nutritious sustenance that heals and repairs the body. Much of this comes from running and experiencing the recovery process firsthand; as I've told many people, I believe there is no way I could run the miles I do if my diet wasn't clean and full of whole foods. Maybe you're someone who can run marathons on cheese pizza and Mountain Dew; I'm not. If I eat poorly, I feel it immediately. And speed work sucks if you feel awful (trust me). My running and recovery dramatically improved when I removed food products and switched to a mostly plant-based diet in 2013. Food is medicine and medicine is food, period.

This passion, of course, extends to my family, particularly the little Bear. Scotty is not vegan mainly because if you take out a food group, you have to add one in. I'm okay eating things like kale-quinoa salad (actually, it's one of my favs), but there's no way he would touch it (I've tried). Hell, for about two years, I could barely get him to eat at all. I swear, the kid existed on nothing by bread crusts and oxygen for most of 2014. I don't know how he survived. Ribs showed. Looking at his skinny little chicken legs made me wonder how childhood obesity even exists in this country; clearly, that was not going to be an issue in our home. I wasn't about to introduce exotic miso or foreign seitan to the mix; I was happy that he would choke down two or three dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets with a glass of whole milk.

Things have dramatically improved in the last few months and now he has a much wider palette. Just the other night, he ate broiled salmon, cous cous and raw spinach for dinner. I was so excited, I posted a pic of it on Facebook. Honestly, it felt like I had won Powerball. But while he's eating super nutritious foods, I realized -- they aren't exactly high in  calories.  Quite frankly, he eats like a rich woman on a diet. Perhaps he'd like a glass of Pinot Grigio to go with that salmon? Beneficial, yes, but his whole dinner was under 200 calories and very low in fat (despite my attempt to hide some extra olive oil in the cous cous). He's weighing in at a svelte 46 lbs these days, which puts him in the lower 50% for his height. Not bad, but not good either.

Consequently, I'm constantly looking for new foods to add to his diet that a.) are highly nourishing, clean and offer substantial calories and b.) is something he will eat willingly. Enter the good people from Slammers Snacks (www.slammerssnacks.com). I get a lot of requests to review products through this blog and am very, very selective about what I accept. When Angela told me about their product, I was curious. Then she offered to send some samples. I said sure. When the giant box arrived, I immediately read through the ingredients on all four flavors, looking for words I didn't know or couldn't pronounce (thank you Michael Pollan). To my surprise, not only did I recognize everything, it was all organic too.  Just to give you an example: in their Awesome Slammer, the total ingredients are: banana, apple, water, blueberries, strawberries, beet, acai, amaranth, lemon juice, citric acid, and ascorbic acid (Vit C). That sounds like a smoothie I would make.

Scotty tried Watermelon Kiwi Burst, Awesome, Pumped, and Epic. The only one he didn't care for was Pumped and that's only because he doesn't care for the taste of cinnamon (my dad hated cinnamon, too - I swear, it's genetic). The other three? He sucked them down. Quickly. Without question. And best of all - without me prodding, cajoling, and pleading. While Awesome, Pumped and Epic contain 1-2 grams of protein per serving, The Watermelon Kiwi Burst boasts 7 grams of protein (coming from whey protein isolate) per pouch. I don't eat whey (it's dairy-based) but is it good for a little kid who needs to put some weight on? Absolutely.

They've recently come out with two new flavors that sound amazing - Pomegranate Grape Crush and Chill'n, a combination of blueberries, butternut squash, Greek yogurt and yumberries (cousin to the raspberry). All flavors have no added sugar, are gluten-free, packed full of antioxidants, and contain no artificial ingredients. Best of all, they are all nut-free, so I can pop one in his school lunch without worry.

I can't say enough good things about Slammer Snacks. I feel like I've been given an easy solution to get more fruits and veggies in my kid without having to fight him or dirty the blender. Plus, they are super portable; this is a great snack on those busy afternoons when we are running from school to baseball or soccer and he needs some food. In the past, I would bring a banana and a cookie. He would eat the cookie and leave the banana (naturally - he's no fool). Now I just bring a pouch or two with some apple slices and he's good to go.

They are also great in the morning during the pre-school rush. Just today, he had a bowl of cereal, his vitamins, and a half of banana. As I kissed him goodbye, he shouted at me from the car: "Mom, you forgot my pouch!" Seriously. He asked me for it. That's a win. Now I know he's consumed at least 200 calories of a healthy combination of fats, protein, and carbs before 8am, hopefully staving off that 10am Kindergarten crash.

Slammer Snacks are sold at most major stores (Target, Kroger, Safeway, Publix - sometimes even Costco and Walmart) and retail for $4.99 for 4 pouches. Just over a dollar a pouch. That's pretty awesome. Check 'em out - such a great option, whether you have picky eaters or not. 

Big thanks to Angela and the good people of Slammer Snacks for introducing me to your product and for sending so many great samples. We can't wait to try more! Follow them on Facebook (Slammer Snacks) and Instagram (@slammerssnacks) for the latest info and news.