...should stay in Puerto Rico.

Ick, ick, ick.

I'm so fed up with this show. Maybe I'm more grumpy than usual, but when I wearily sat down on the couch last night to tune in to the latest installment of Ben's love life, it hit me: this show is really stupid. Like, really stupid. Maybe this is what Brian has been trying to tell me all along, but who really finds love on reality TV? Unless you are on the Biggest Loser, no one. This show is a fake.

My feelings may or may not also be a result of reading Reality Steve's blog, to which he confirms, with virtual certainty, that Ben picks...

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Courtney.

HUH?

If that is the case, the editors have done a bang-up job of villifying her worse than Vienna. I honestly didn't think that was possible. And I'm going to go out on a limb and say she's probably not as evil as they portray her, but man! She is ANNOYING.

The mouth thing really bugs me. And her little squeaky-little-girl voice. And her mannerisms and her manipulation and her ridiculous push-up bra that they panned to about eight times during the skinny dipping scene.  Just about everything about her bugs me.

Alleged evilness aside, how is Ben not completely and totally not annoyed with her as well?

Maybe it's that whole "she's-super-hot" thing that men can't get past and women immediately see through, but I really thought Ben was different. I really did. He's a bit of a nerd who likes to discuss the history of forts in Puerto Rico ("Built in the 16th century..."), knows who wrote Canon in D, and uses words like "rad." He has that silly, floppish hair - let's not forget the hair, people - and I really, sincerely believed he would not fall into the same trap as every other guy. Looks fade, Ben! If she's a tool now, she'll be a tool in 20 years. And she'll still have that weird lip thing going on.

Oh, wait. You probably won't be together in 20 years because SHE IS USING YOU.

Whatever.

Armed with this information, I sat down to watch last night's episode with half a brain. Nicki got the first date. They swam in chocolate or something. They talked about marriage. It rained. There are still girls there who's names I don't know. Kacie B clearly stands out to me as the person best suited for Ben, but even he told her, "I tend to fall for people who don't love me back." DING DING DING! Yes, Ben, that is your pattern - now break it! All of the girls are giving the hairy eyeball to Courtney, yet he is so blinded by lust that he's willing to show America his ass (literally).

And don't even get started on Emily's unjust persecution. Maybe I'm feeling especially sensitive, but she was saying the right things! Courtney IS a weirdo! Courtney IS shady! Courtney DOES show Ben a different side than she shows the rest of the girls, yet Emily's warnings fell on deaf ears. Ben actually chided her with a terse, "Tread lightly" and she immediately pulled back. She lamented to the rest of the girls, "I think he hates me," and my heart went out to her. She is right; he just, for whatever reason, can't hear her.

::sigh::

I am exhausted thinking about it all.

I'm kind of done with this whole thing. If Courtney is the winner ("winning!" as she trills every six seconds), I'm done. I'm hanging up my Bachelor/Bachelorette blogging notes and calling it. 'Cause this show is really stupid, and I would be much better suited playing 'Angry Birds' for two hours on Monday night than getting emotionally invested in dumb TV shows.

Your thoughts?

Top Ten Ways to Tell Kim is Really Stressed Out:

10.) She starts drinking coffee at all times of day, including 4pm and even 8pm.

9.) Empty bottles of Chardonnay mysteriously begin piling up in the recycling bin

8.) Simple questions, such as "What's for dinner?" cause her snap, "GET OFF MY BACK!"

7.) Despite her claims that she doesn't "have enough time," she starts baking in earnest.

6.) All of the frosting allocated for the cinnamon rolls never reached an actual roll; it was consumed prior to the start of breakfast. No apology was issued.

5.) She starts wearing her bathrobe at all times of day.

4.) 'Braveheart' plays on the TV on a constant loop.

3.) The computer area is buried by the iPad, the iPhone, several yellow legal pads with page after page of illegible scribbles, and a half-eaten box of Junior Mints.

2.) The blog goes dark for days.

and the #1 way to know that Kim is stressed out...

You come home on a Saturday afternoon to find her curled up on the couch, in her bathrobe, eating frosting, drinking Chardonnay, watching 'Braveheart.'

That's all, folks! See in next month.

Sorry for the lack of blog posts lately. It's been nothing but non-stop work/craziness/activity around here.

It's that time of year again - Sage time. The quarterly newsletter that is published through JLLV is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, I love exercising my brain and stretching my writing muscles. On the other hand, I hate the constant back-and-forth contact/communication I must have with other people in order to get it done. Deadlines need to be met, people need to be informed, and quite frankly, the whole process is exhausting. Add in a few more Comms projects, and I'm on overload. I need a secretary and an assistant and a full-work day just to get it all done. In my tiny home office where I have maybe 2-3 hours to myself per day, I'm not holding my breath.

Scotty also pulled a fast one on me. Monday was not a good day. He decided to just simply not nap that day. This has happened only twice before (w/o illness): on 1/15 (a Sunday, and the same day the Packers lost), and almost on Jan 19th. I had a call that afternoon with a person with a Very Important Title, so I could not get off the call to go upstairs and comfort the boy. Instead, I kept my phone glued to my ear and simply turned the monitor down (and tried not to start crying on the phone. I hate to hear him cry). The call lasted over an hour, and by the time we hung up, Scotty had fallen asleep. Finally. But I was a wreck.

And then this Monday, without warning, he simply just did not nap. My computer crashed three times that day, and our damn printer is still not working (insert multiple expletives here). After 90 minutes of messing around, I marched upstairs with very little patience left, scooped him out of the crib, and demanded he go downstairs and play with his cars. That's what he wanted, right? To keep playing? He looked at me with concern and I simply pointed downstairs and screamed, "GO!"

Not my finest parenting moment.

Once down, I put myself in timeout in the back bedroom. And cried. Scotty was outside the door, playing with his orange dump truck, and I think he sensed Momb was not alright. He was right; I was losing it. Big time.

So I sat on the bed and cried for a solid five minutes. I cried because I felt like I was failing my child. I cried because our stupid computer is a disaster and I lost an entire article I had been working on and I didn't know how to fix it. I cried because I have no IT guy to call or co-worker to vent to. I cried because everyone tells me I should feel so lucky to stay home, and during times like this, I would rather be anyplace but home. I cried because every text/email I received that day was more bad news.

I cried and cried and cried.

I finally opened my eyes when I felt a small tap on my knees. Two giant blues eyes were looking at me with great concern. "Momb sad," Scotty stated solemnly. "Momb crying." I nodded. "Momb is in time-out," I told him.

If this were a movie, he would have patted my hand and told me, "There, there. It's okay," and we would have hugged it out and spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch, watching movies and snuggling.

But life isn't a movie and so what he did instead was grab me by the hands and start screaming, "PLAY CARS! MOMB, UP! PLAY CARS NOW!" at which point I threw myself back on the bed and sighed heavily.

And when I finally did get up, I went to the garage, opened the fridge, and pulled out a Rolling Rock. Yes, it was three in the afternoon. But I was so over Motherhood at that point, short of dying my hair, changing my name and driving to California, beer seemed like a much safer option.

You know what? It worked. Within ten minutes, the rage had subsided and I had a handle on the afternoon. A play date was arranged at our house. Scotty had a friend coming over to keep him company and I had a friend coming over to cry to. Instead of feeling like the next five hours stretched in front of me like an endless desert, I had a grip on life, sanity, and Motherhood again.

Whew.

Because sleep is a much-discussed topic of parents, once I came back to my right mind, I decided to set some boundaries. They are as follows:

1.) The boy will be placed in his crib between 12:30-1pm everyday.
2.) I will not open the door to his room unless I feel he has a.) pooped, b.) climbed out of his crib, or c.) wolverines have breached the nursery walls.
3.) If the boy refuses to sleep, he will remain in the crib until 3pm. He can play quietly, in the dark, with his animals. Or he can sleep. I cannot control what he chooses to do, only provide him with good options.

And with that, I'm very content with my plan. I will not freak out, I will not panic, and I will not continue drinking beer at three in the afternoon (not good for general mental health and/or weight loss and training).

After all, boundaries are good things. I remember when we were designing and picking stuff out for the new kitchen, I was overwhelmed with options. It wasn't until I finally decided on two rules did things finally come together. They were: anything functional (i.e. appliances) = stainless steel and anything decorative = oil-rubbed bronze. Simple rules (kinda dumb, really), but it worked. And now I really like my kitchen.

I'm hoping these nap boundaries = no more time-outs for Momb.

For a kid that hated the bath tub until only recently, now it's a chore to get the little muffin out.

Check it out:

The tyke refuses to get out until the very last drops of water have gone down the drain. He's serious about his protest; if I attempt to remove him earlier, he fights me to climb back in.

99% of the bubbles in the bath being used for 1% of the world's toddlers.

Stay strong, Scott. Don't let the Man keep you down

So weird thing happened last night: I'm sitting on the couch, barely cognizant due to this ridiculous sinus infection, with my face buried in the pillows and the TV blaring. I was just about to nod off when I heard - this is very weird - my own voice coming from the TV.

No, I wasn't hallucinating. The PSA I taped in December just aired. And strangely, I found myself staring at, well, myself. With kind of this awkward sense of "I know her...I am her!" feeling.

Seeing yourself on TV is not pleasant, particularly in high-def. So in this review, I will be much nicer to the girls.

(and if you are curious, one day I'll write the story of the PSA. I think I'll call it "How I Spent My Christmas Vacation." Honestly, it wasn't nearly as exciting as I thought it would be. But it is airing on the local NBC station at various times!)

So with my new humbled attitude toward Ben and the ladies, Ep 3 found them in San Fran, Ben's favorite city. I missed the part with his sister (mainly because I rewinded the PSA like, eight times and watched that for the first ten minutes of the show), but I didn't miss much. By the time I tuned in, Emily and Ben were scaling the Golden Gate Bridge and Emily (Dr. Emily, as I'll call her) was lamenting about her fear of heights.

Um...what? People go to the Golden Gate Bridge to kill themselves, not fall in love. Climbing that thing does not look appealing, and I, too, Ye of the Fearful of Heights Club, totally agree with Dr. Emily. Stay the hell off that thing! Heights are dangerous for a reason. And the whole "clip-unclip-my-harness" bit would have had me pulling a Britteny and high-tailing it home. (more on that later).

But our future epidemiologist (and my new favorite person) stuck it out and made it to the top. For a second, I was having flashes of Vienna and Jake during their bungee jump, but I don't think Emily will last long in this competition. She's far too practical, smart and normal. I love her reactions to Courtney, and did anyone else hear her pull out the word "diagnose?" I was cracking up from my couch. Emily is definitely my new favorite.

After the bridge, they had dinner, talked, kissed, blah, blah. She got a rose.

For the group date, the producers must have decided that the show hasn't sold out quite enough, so they squished all of the people into a bunch of Honda CR-Vs and made Ben talk about made-up taglines like "leap list." Maybe it's just me, but I've never heard of the phrase "leap list." And interestedly, Honda aired several commercials (to promote their CR-V) that used the phrase "leap list." I don't think it's going to become part of my vernacular just yet, but thanks for trying.

Also, Honda? I appreciate your attempt to market your mini-van to singles/engaged/just-married folks, but I think we all know your van is the car we buy after we find out we're expecting baby #2. You can eek out a couple more years in the non-mini-van with just one kid, but once #2 comes along, you've got us forever. No need to try so hard. We'll come to you...eventually.

Okay, now back to our regularly scheduled program.

The ladies had to snow-ski (?) in bikinis (??) down a street in San Fran (???). The only person who appeared mildly happy about this was Ben and perhaps some of the guys standing around watching the taping. I was waiting for some kind of serious wardrobe malfunction (skiing?? In a bikini??) but the guys in editing did their jobs well. Whew.

During the group date, Ben looked like he was feelin' pretty good - doing shots, grinning. He looked like the cat that ate the canary. Britteny popped his bubble a bit by declining the one-on-one date and then promptly left the show for good. She didn't really get a lot of air time, so I'm not sure what prompted that, but oh well. See ya later, Britt. Say hi to your grandma for us.

Undeterred, Ben gave the rose to a new-looking Rachel. Was it me, or did she color her hair since the last episode? She looked very...fresh. Maybe it was the blue dress? Either way, I almost didn't recognize her. But she got the rose and made poor Kacie B slump a little farther in her chair.

With Britteny on the first plane outta there, Ben offered the date to Lindzi, She of the Weirdly-Spelled Name and The Girl Who Rode in on a Horse. I'm also going to offer this moniker: The Girl Who Constantly Looks Down. Why does she tilt her head like that? Is it so her bangs droop at just the right spot? 'Cause it's really annoying. I  had the urge to yell, "Pick your head up!" every time she was on camera. And she kept making that strange grimace – I mean, smile- that was very Kelly Killoran-Benisimmon-esque. Ugh. Like, just smile normally. You can tell she’s been practicing her “TV face” for months now in the mirror.

(Okay, maybe I’m not being so nice. But her facial expressions are weird. And this is coming from the girl who yelled out "What do I do with my face?" during the taping of her PSA.)

Also, when they were breaking into City Hall, did anyone stop to tell Lindzi that this is a TV show? That Ben really doesn’t have the key to the city? They really arent' breaking in...this is all staged/planned/arranged. It’s just a clever little way to name a date? Someone needs to clue her in. She looked like she was taking the whole thing waaaaay too seriously. Either producers prepped her a little too much, or she has the intelligence of a rock.

Paging Dr. Emily. I miss you and your funny remarks. Please come back to the camera…

Anyways, Ben and Lindzi had a nice date and she got a rose. I find her to be the second most annoying person in the house right now (with Courtney claiming in the #1 spot), so let’s hope she leaves soon.

At the rose ceremony, Shawntel from Brad’s season arrived. The claws came out! Wow! Girls are mean! I mean, I know I am one and stuff, but mee-yow! “My thighs are thinner than hers,” sniffed the light-headed law student with the mouth-tattoo. Courtney declared that she would not accept her rose if Shawntel got one, yet immediately bended as soon as she was the first one called. What a poser. I can’t stand her.

In the end, everyone, including color-blocking Jennifer (trendy! Wasn’t expecting that!) got a rose except the law student, Jaclyn, and Shawntel. I don’t really care if Shawntel came back or what past she has/had with Ben, but it sure made for some good TV.

My only question: is Jaclyn still in that bathroom?

This morning, I had my fitness assessment for boot camp. Despite the fact I'm running a fever and have a wicked sore throat, I still went. I figured if I really sucked at everything, I would just have that much more room for improvement the next time I'm tested.

Scotty was with me, of course, and we went a little early to play at the playground nearby. Another little girl joined us and she was sweet as could be. She and Scotty had a good time playing with his cars, and they were giggling and laughing together. She was a little younger, probably about 18 months, and very cute.

At one point, her aunt (we had been chatting so I knew everyone's relations) put her on one of those rock-back-and-forth things. This one happened to be shaped like a little horse, and after a few rocks, the little girl got too close to the front of the equipment. She banged her tiny little head into the horse's mane and her lip started gushing blood. She began to wail.

Scotty fell silent during this and watched her with big, concerned eyes. I've been joking that he's going to grow up to be a medic or firefighter or doctor (pleasepleaseplease), mainly because he has such a serious, thoughtful demeanor. He loves his little doctor's kit at home, we administer shots to his stuffed animals every day, and he's very concerned about his mother's well-being ("Momb, sit down. Take your vitamins. Here, vitamin. Open mouth. [Vitamin inserted into my mouth] There, there. Very good [gentle pat on knee]."

So as the little girl cried and the aunt hugged her (and tried to control the bleeding), I knelt down to Scotty's level and asked him, "What do we say when someone is crying?" We had been practicing all week, usually with Brian fake-crying on the couch, and Scotty would come over and offer an empathetic pat on the arm and say, "There, there. You're okay."

I watched Scotty think for a second, and then he moved towards the girl. He briefly scooped up some sand, held it out to her and said,

"Here. Rub some dirt on it."

Which is exactly what Brian tells Scott whenever he falls down.

Total. Parental. Mortification.

Looks like I'll be the one teaching the child about appropriate empathetic responses going forward.

(we all laughed, but I could not believe Scotty said that to her. He said it sweetly, I'll give him that, but oh. my. god. Children. No...husbands! Darn husbands!)

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Totally as an aside, check out this photo of Scotty during my assessment. He loved Boot Camp, and he loved Kerry, the trainer. While we did our 1/2 mile run, they stood by a tree and studied the ants together.

Looks like a future Boot Camper.

Brian got me an iPhone for Christmas this year.

I was pretty stoked, mainly because my current phone needed to be held together with duct tape. The numerous falls it had taken at the hands of a tiny tyrant had taken its toll (how is that for an alliteration, fellow English geeks?) and it was time to put the Samsung Moment to rest. Also, it took three seconds to snap a picture, and as any mother with a child under the age of 4 will attest, 28 different things can happen in the span of three seconds (and usually do, meaning you never capture the photo you want).

So into my life walked the iPhone. I refused to believe the hype since it's inception. Whatever, whatever, whatever. I love my iPad and still use my iPod (circa 2005, baby) but a phone is a phone is a phone.

No big shakes, right?

I was so. So. Sooooo. Wrong.

I adore this little gadget.

The true beauty of the iPhone came to me when I saw the tiny button that said, "Music." I studied it, opened it, and realized I could download all of our iTunes music on to my phone. And there was a handy little slot for my headphones...so I could use my phone to listen to music? Really? And that day, when I schlepped my phone to the gym (along with water and a towel and a magazine...gym workouts are so...full), I realized: I could check my email on the treadmill. I could text on the treadmill. Hell, I could update my Facebook status - and read through others' status - WHILE ON THE TREADMILL!!

This is the greatest invention known to man.

No more tucking the phone in my gym bag and then frantically scrolling through everything post-workout, wondering who had texted, called, or emailed me. It was all at the tip of my fingers - at all times. Like, all the time.

What's even more interesting is recently, Apple recalled all of their 2005 iPods due to "toasty batteries." (I have no idea what that means). Brian's and mine qualified for the recall, and just yesterday, we received these bad boys in the mail. Free.

I don't even know what it is or what's called, but I just want to emphasize the size of this thing -- placed next to a regular old quarter:

I'm not even sure what it does or how it works, but it sure is cute. It has a teeny-tiny clip on the back, so I think you download music, photos, podcasts, etc, and then use your ear phones to listen to your tiny music machine while it's clipped to your shirt. Remember the days of the boom box? Meet this little dude.

Bravo, Apple. Well played.

All of these advances do come with a down side. If I was mostly obnoxious checking my phone in the past, I'm totally obnoxious now. I'm a slave to the siren song that is the chirp that signals a new email, text, or comment from FB. Brian has asked me repeatedly to put my phone down, yet my counter to him is always, "Okay. Then put yours away, too." He can't - since he has an iPhone too. 

Together, we are just a couple of hopeless iAddicts.

No worries. I'm sure Apple will come up with iRehab soon enough.

So right as I'm sitting down to type out the blog this afternoon, my phone rings. It's Brian.

Considering my entire day has been a whirlwind of emails, phone calls, and one particularly destructive play-date (Sorry, Deana's house), I answered the phone, "Heavens to Betsy. What?"

Poor Brian. He kind of snorted and then replied, "Well, I just wanted to let you know I've not blown up yet. They've sealed off the entire downtown area because of a bomb threat, but I bet that doesn't hold a candle to any Junior League drama or blog drama."

Technically...he's right. There's a bomb scare downtown like, once a month. We can't freak out every time they seal off a building and drag out the bomb-sniffing dogs. No work would ever get done.

But ever the dutiful wife, I clicked over to a news station website and read yes, the Foley Federal Building is on lock-down due to a bomb threat.

But he's fine...right? And the threat was at like, 12:13pm. Practically two hours ago. Old news, really.

I have a blog to write. Let's get to it...

Ben, Ben, Ben...he's a smart one. He must have studied all of the past seasons since he's playing the game correctly (or at least, was, until he fell for the MODEL. Isn't that the first rule of "The Bachelor"? Never fall for the model! They are not human! Don't trust the prettiest girl, and whatever you do, never, ever give them the one-on-one date. Because they will eat your brains and put you under their spell.)

Anyways, aside from breaking the model-rule (more on that later), Ben was savvy enough to either tell producers or suggest to producers that he didn't want to do the typical LA dates. No scaling skyscrapers, no posh dinners, no crazy-make-believe-dates that have zero carry-over in the real world. I like the fact he brought them to Sonoma which just so happens to be his home town. I really like the fact that the dates were ridiculously low-key: walking around Sonoma's downtown district; hanging at the town square with a bunch of kids, dinner next to a tree after a date by a river. No glamour, no need to wear ill-fitting satin dresses, and no "fantasy" dates that involved spa treatments or chauffeur-driven limos. Just Ben, his dog, and a bunch of redwoods, driving himself in a big ole Jeep. It was a refreshing change.

First one-on-one date went to Kacie B, who when they pronounce her name, sounds more like Kaciebee. It's a cute little name for a cute girl - a girl with naturally curly hair! Holy moly! She better keep that frizz under control when Ben is looking because that is a mop if I've ever seen one. She's a gorgeous girl...but thank heavens for the invention of the flat iron.

Kacie has some serious clout in this game - she's definitely smitten with Ben, and Ben with her. They had a fairly serious first date (old video of their childhoods? Kinda deep, don't you think?) and some major fireworks. I'd say Kacie has a shot at going all the way, but Bachelor history would tell me otherwise. I'd like to bring in Jillian and Jake (first date at the cowboy store), and Ashley and Brad (carnival date). Both were first dates and both flamed out. And - interestingly enough - both went on to become the next Bachelor/Bachelorette. So maybe if Ben doesn't pick Kaciebee, America will. (insert collective "awww" here.)

For the group date, Ben took 300 women to the town square to participate in a play written by children. God bless the man, and the women, because I would have had zero patience with this date. The kids were cute, yes, but I hate plays and hate live acting (particularly if I have to be on stage.) I'd like to reference my brief stint as "Suzy Snowflake" in my kindergarten Christmas play as ruining live theater for me for the rest of my life.

But these women managed to do it - act like a weasel, be a dragon, act like a fool, etc. And yes, Kris, Blakely's corsetted romper was laughable. The best part of that whole part was listening to the children describe it - and then the little boy at the end says calmly, "I had no problem with it." I'm wondering if there was a wardrobe malfunction or if production had the children sign a waiver agreeing to pay for their own therapy in the event one (or both) of Blakely's boobs burst free during her audition.

The ladies managed to put on the strangest live-action production known to man. (did you notice them sipping some kind of Rose pre-stage time? I would have need to crawl into the bottle to do that). And all of the on-stage kissing? And Ben ripping off his costume? There are children present! Sonoma, I don't know what kind of town you are, but you are making Vegas look downright saintly.

Blakely managed to get the rose on the group date by flouncing around in a teal, ruffled bikini and sucking Ben's face off while in the pool. It was uncomfortable for everyone - me, Jennifer the accountant, that blond chick who's name I don't know yet - to watch. And Blakely's actions really pissed Samantha off. This is my question: how bad do you have to act to upset an Advertising Account Manager from LA? Answer: pretty badly. And Blakely, Ye of the VIP Cocktail Waitress status, did just that.

While all of this group drama was going down, Courtney managed to seriously piss off the one girl who probably has the longest fuse in the house: Kaciebee. She made a snide comment when she got her date card, something along the lines of, "How does that taste coming out of your mouth?" after Kaciebee very nicely read the date card out loud. You could just watch the anger rise in Kacie - kind of like watching Bambi get mad. It started slowly, then a boil, then she began glowering at her. Off camera, she said, "She is NOT a nice girl" rather emphatically. You tell 'em, Kacie.

Ben and Courtney headed out the woods for their date (never let them take you to a second location, Ben!!) and I'm just happy he returned in one piece. Courtney put on the whole 'I'm a nice girl but just haven't found the right guy' act and Ben fell for it hook, line and sinker. Courtney is not a Michelle Money kind of bad girl; I don't think there's an ounce of self-deprecating humor. I think she takes herself very, very seriously, which is weird, since she has that goofy mouth. She really should learn to laugh at herself and be nice to others. Looks fade, Courtney. Get a personality.

When Ben kissed Courtney and the dog whimpered, Ben accused the dog (Scoff? Scotch? Who caught his name?) of ruining the moment. "No Ben!" I screamed at the TV. "He's trying to warn you! Get out of there!!"

He didn't listen. Courtney got a rose.

I will admit, I totally tuned out during the pre-rose ceremony drama. I have a new game on my phone called Hungry Shark that is really addictive. I looked up, however, to find Blakely in the corner and Jenna in bed. Huh? While I'm curious, I dont' want to know. Actually, I'm not curious. I don't really care at this point.

Going home this week: Jenna and that girl from AZ with the really bad two-toned hair. The producers agreement with Ben to keep Jenna around for the drama probably expired. There wasn't (or I missed it?) a lot of drama between Monica and Jenna this week. Just a lot of Blakely hating.

As for next week, it looks as though Lindzi and Rachel get the one-on-one dates. Gotta hand it to Ben - he's a straight shooter. Those two, combined with Kaciebee and Courtney, could easily go all the way. We just need to hope Courtney's wicked spell on Ben breaks soon.

Okay, let me know your thoughts! I love writing about this and can't wait to hear what you have to say! Though I should probably call my husband back...

Breaking news: a new power couple has emerged in the playgroup.

Ladies and gentleman...I bring you...

Scotty and Cara. Henceforth to be known as...Scara.

It started out innocently enough, as these things tend to do. A longing look from the blue swing. Playful babbling that only makes sense to them. These loving gestures soon grew and by the time we went to leave, there was some serious canoodling in the parking lot.

This new couple does not come without its share of drama. Cara just got out of a long-term relationship with Henry, one of Scott's BFFs and fellow August '09 kid. Scotty and Sam had been on-again, off-again over the holidays, and while things seemed to be moving in a positive manner, these photos may be the final nail in the coffin: Scotty + Sam = dunzo.

Life moves quickly when your age is still measured in months.

And Sam, I'm sorry you had to find out this way.

...not babies...I'm talking about marathons.

Running really is like child birth. After the disaster that was Dec 4, I moaned, complained, and limped around for a while. And then, after licking my psychic wounds for a few weeks, time took on this magical quality and my memory of the event slowly altered. With a few good re-tellings of the tale, the abomination became anectdotal; after all, how many people can claim they almost pooped on the Strip in a crowd of 44,000? 

(If you are curious about our plans to expand our family, please know that labor and delivery was the best part of my pregnancy experience, ironically enough. After twelve long weeks of bed rest, seven trips to the hospital, and then the subsequent horror that was CatheterGate, I'll take L&D any day over those winners. So, yeah, no plans right now for a sibling for the Bear; he may flying solo for a long, long time to come. Sixteen days with a catheter would make anyone gun-shy.)

Okay, enough about pooping and child birth. Back to the topic at hand...

...I'm happy to report I've signed up for the Summerlin 1/2 Marathon that kicks off on April 14!

It's a much smaller race than the Rock-n-Roll one, and to the best of my knowledge, it not at night. (thank goodness!) I am not anticipating running next to a million Elvises, people wrapped in Christmas lights, or naked people, but it's Vegas so you never know. And I'm starting to learn that people who run in these races have a very quirky sense of humor. Like, running in tutus is fun. Huh?

What's even cooler than jumping on the marathon-train again is the amazing amount of interest this has generated. I posted it on my FB page, and within a day, several people confirmed they would also like to run, and there's a whole long list of "maybe's" (DEANA! NATALIE! JEN WHIIIIIIIITE!) I am thrilled and excited to see so many people taking an interest in it, and most of all, I want to encourage any of them reading this now to consider writing for the blog. I'd love to hear about your experiences as you start to train, and what things deep inside come to the surface (and I'm not talking about digestive issues). Running is so much more than putting one foot in front of the other; it's one part therapy, one part endurance, and a whole lot of mental toughness. It's quite a ride, from beginning to end, and I'm excited to see what the next few months bring.

And speaking of childbirth, after waxing poetic about the marathon for the entire month of December, I spent far too much time behind the computer than outside or on the treadmill. I finally jumped back on this past Sunday to do four  miles and OW! Talking about running is a lot easier than actually doing it. The soreness in my legs and lower back was a friendly reminder to make sure I put my money where my mouth is, and be consistent. Needless to say, I've already dusted off my training guide from last fall and am ready to get started. Again.

The Summerlin 1/2 Marathon is 98 days away, and I'm starting this second round of training in good spirits will all ten toenails still in tact. Let's hope both continue until April 14th!