Just when you think you are safe to go back to the perinatologist's office...

BP:  122/77
Fluids: 17 (-3 from Friday, but still excellent)
Baby's position: head down (fantastic)
Heart rate:  133-140 (not so good)
Uterine activity:  too many to count (boom, crash)

Yes, you read that correctly. The last two...heart rate and uterine activity = epic fail. Baby B got the buzzer/taser today, and still didn't wake up. They brought out the apple juice, which helped, but if Baby B hadn't passed the ultrasound, I'm not sure where we'd be right now. Apparently, my contraction pattern was both regular and consistent as well. This means me meds were upped, yet again, to every four hours. I'm not sure if his heart rate responsiveness correlates to the contraction pattern, but whatever it means, it added up to a very long morning.

The doctor ordered yet another Ffn test, which happily came back negative. Another cervical check (actually, two, since one nurse was still learning and asked me if I consented to "let her practice." Um, ow. But I guess we all have to start somewhere) and no dilation yet. Whew.

We're really coming down to the wire here...34w2d, I just need to get through a few more weeks before we will consider this baby coming into the world to join us. It sounds like he might have other ideas, though.

The big ultrasound is this Thursday, so keep thinking those boring, womb-centered thoughts. We can't wait to meet Baby B...just, not now. Think August 15th. At the very earliest.

At this point, I'm sure the good people at our insurance are devising ways to drop me from the plan.  I am just simply not cost-effective anymore.

I knew - knew! - I jinxed myself yesterday as soon as I got off the phone with Amie. I had just finished this long soliloquy about how great 34 weeks was, how if the baby came today I would be fine, how every day after this is gravy....blah, blah, blah. And as soon as I hung up, I realized I hadn't felt any movement in well over an hour.

Not thinking this was a big deal, I laid on the couch for the next hour and a half. Zero movement. I drank a Coca-cola (8 oz wee can), drank cold water, and then (stupidly) got a little ahead of myself and tried to jump up and down. Um, don't do this, other pregnant women. It produced the most horrible right-side cramp ever. At one point, I even tried the 'smack-the-dough' baby technique I learned from the nurse several weeks ago. Nothing. Not a kick, jab, roll. Nothing.

So I called my doctor at 4:30. I'm not going to really elaborate on this part, since I've been fairly irritated with my regular doctor since about week 12 (when he laughed at me for thinking I had listeria...um, it's  real illness and a common pregnancy fear). The man didnt' even call me back. When I called the answering service 30 minutes later (what? Did I interrupt his Friday afternoon cocktail hour?), the woman told me 10 movements PER DAY is the norm, not 10 per hour. One quick Google search later and I was completely confused. Who do I believe? The good people at Google or the woman who has no medical training but answers phones for a doctor's office?  Needless to say, I was pretty annoyed. During pregnancy, I've found that brushing my teeth is a great way to diffuse anger (and avoid cavities), so I spent a good 10 minutes with my Crest spinbrush trying to talk myself out of filing a complaint with the Nevada Medical Board.

Finally, teeth gleaming, I called Labor and Delivery and described my symptoms. It was now 5:30 and I had felt no movement in almost two and half hours. The very kind nurse advised me to eat a sweet snack, drink some cold water and lay down for another hour. If nothing happened at that point, come in to the hospital for monitoring. Cupcake in hand (see? They are not only fun but also functional), I watched the nightly news and continued to feel...nothing.

At 6:30, I finally called it. Brian was just getting off of the golf course and said he would meet me at the hospital. You know you've been to Labor and Delivery one too many times when you greet your nurse by name ("Kay! Good to see you again!") and they, in turn, remember you. I also happened to come right around shift change, and my second nurse was also the breastfeeding coach.  She and I are also on a first-name basis. At this rate, I think I might need to add all of these people to our Christmas card list.

Anyways, we were out the door by 8:30. I had decreased movement, but according to Joan, the nurse, my fluid was high and cushioning his movement. His heart rate was great and no contraction pattern. I just think it's so ironic that for someone who is already predisposed to more of an anxious nature (i.e. freaks out easily), I've developed one of the most irritating pregnancy issues - totally harmless (thankfully), but it causes me to panic and google 'fetal demise' more frequently than I would like.  I asked Joan what I could do in the future to know the baby is okay even when I can't feel him and her response was, "Come back in."  ::sigh::

She also agreed that I am measuring way larger than 34 weeks. Even little Baby B had a hard time staying on the fetal monitor for longer than three minutes, making all of the nurses feel that his "swimming pool" has simply gotten bigger. You'd think for such an allegedly large baby, his accommodations would start to feel smaller. Nope. It seems like as he grows, so does the pool. And all of this adds up to one very large, very uncomfortable Kim.

Brian did manage to save the night, though. He came waltzing into L&D Room 9 with a copy of "The Likeness," the sequel to my new favorite book, "In the Woods." It was hard to leave the book on the little console and not start reading it on the spot, but I didn't want to be rude to Brian or the nurses. Brian is out running errands right now, so it looks I have a whole luxurious afternoon to read again. He just called and said it was Kitten Adoption Day at Petsmart, so it looks like he might be gone for awhile.  Excellent. Maybe this book will take my mind off of polyhydroamnios and other fun things.