Today is Day 6 of the Sickness. I fear there is no end in sight.
The boy appears to be getting better, but we certainly take one step forward and two steps back. He managed to go all of Wednesday without a fever but without a nap. This does not bode well for my mental health. When your toddler wakes up screaming after fifteen minutes of nap time and you haven't even had a chance to plug the baby monitor in, you know you're headed for a long afternoon.
But not as long of an afternoon as Tuesday. Nap schedule was the same - 15 minutes down, woke up screaming (due to coughing) and since the cleaners were over, we literally found ourselves man (and Mom) without a country. While I'm really happy the ladies did a solid job scrubbing every surface of my home with bleach (including cleaning my coffee pot...?), it's very difficult to entertain a sick toddler when you cannot go to a.) friends' houses b.) indoor play places and c.) the playground out of fear of becoming a social pariah. So we completed the trifecta of errands (Costco, grocery store, Target) and then had a late dinner out. Imagine my surprise when we returned and the cleaners were still there! I'm not sure if I should be pleased with their effort or offended at how dirty they found my home. Regardless, it's lovely to be able to see your reflection in the bathroom mirror again.
The Sickness has turned the boy into a Level 5 Clinger. While I'm enjoying all of the snuggling, I've also been rendered useless on the home front. This includes cooking meals, washing dishes, bathing. I know the boy doesn't feel good and nothing feels better than sitting squarely on Momma's hip while watching Super Why! for the 12,000 time that day, but I need to be able to complete certain activities. Like brushing my teeth. Short of strapping the child to my body via duct tape, I plan to research "Toddler Bjorns"...just as soon as I'm able to sit at the computer...alone.
And after the past five days, I'm certain that while healthy toddlers regularly mimic drunk people (incoherent speech, stumbling, excessive displays of emotion), sick toddlers most resemble crackheads coming down from a bad trip. At one point yesterday, Scotty vacillated between throwing books at my face to suddenly being mesmerized with my nose, gently touching it and attempting to lick it while murmuring, "Looooove Moooooom." He is a wild card when ill, and this lack of predictability is starting to wear on me.
Speaking of drug use, watching your child use a nebulizer feels like you are watching them use a hookah. It's very Lost-esque flash forward-y, like I'm being given a glance of my toddler in college one day. I'm not sure if I'm proud or horrified with how easily Scotty puts the nebulizer hose in his mouth and inhales deeply. Once again, I find myself asking, "Am I just a really good mom or is my kid going to smoke a lot of um, things one day?" Needless to say, I've tried to weave in an anti-drug message to the little tyke many times in recent days, in the form of, "Who's ready for dinner? Don't use drugs!" and "Time for bubble tub...don't do drugs!" Let's hope it sinks in.
Likewise, I fear I may have lost my husband to the dark recesses of the legal world. Despite the many important-sounding phone calls he takes at night and mountains of paperwork he schelps back and forth to his car every morning, I secretly believe he is actually working on nothing at all. I believe that the stress of the Sickness has driven him to escape to the quiet, clean solitude that is his office. If I find out "arbitration" is Latin for "afternoon tee time," I will likely kill him this weekend.
And so, here I sit. Praying the Sickness goes away soon and the boy returns to his normal Bear self. Wishing the 4am breathing treatment ends on Friday or I may likely lose my mind. And hoping that the horrible antibiotic shot the Bear was forced to endure today - the one where he screamed for 30 minutes straight and caused a medical assistant to panic and run out of the room - works quickly.
Because I'm not sure how much longer my household can stand this.
Until next time, Log.
Editor's note: I wrote this entry last night around 9pm. I'm happy to report Scotty slept the whole night with only one waking (around 12:30). We fed him some crackers, nebulized him, and today, he woke up a new boy. I'm hoping we've turned a corner.