I have learned two more dreaded words...
"Bowel prep."
Today was spent close to home. Er, very close to home. Per my surgery instructions, I was required to live on clear liquids and drink two bottles of the grossest, most disgusting tasting liquids. One at 12pm and one at 4pm. And my only thought (aside from "When did I eat corn?") was, "This is totally going to catch on in Hollywood." I mean, I probably have lost at least five pounds of solid...matter. Magnesium citrate, it doens't mess around. I mean, it caused horrific stomach cramps, nausea, and untimely movements, but wow, it works. Well. Expect actresses to be raving about this product around award season. It's like this season's Adderall.
Anyways, unexpected weight loss aside, I am packed and ready for the big day tomorrow. I think everyone has asked me how I'm feeling (which is so very nice, thank you), but I have to say: I have no idea. I mean, it can't be that bad, right? People do this and go home with newborns that they have to breastfeed around the clock. I just have to make sure I don't tear my stitches while I flip pages on the iPad and snack on Fritos. So...who knows? I'm just praying my brain doesn't disconnect from my bladder again. (pleasepleasepleaseplease).
I saddest about leaving Scotty for a few days. It'll be weird to not see him at every meal. Or in the morning. Or at night. I'm glad we're past some serious milestones like first steps and first words since it would just kill me to know he did it while I was unconscious or something. I just hope he doesn't put Grandma through the paces.
Since my 4:30am wake-up time is looming large, I'm going to end here. Also, due to the lack of food today, I am typing slowly and my stomach is rumbling in a rather disturbing fashion. I'll be sure to update the blog as soon as I'm home again, so this is good-bye. Just for now, though.
"Bowel prep."
Today was spent close to home. Er, very close to home. Per my surgery instructions, I was required to live on clear liquids and drink two bottles of the grossest, most disgusting tasting liquids. One at 12pm and one at 4pm. And my only thought (aside from "When did I eat corn?") was, "This is totally going to catch on in Hollywood." I mean, I probably have lost at least five pounds of solid...matter. Magnesium citrate, it doens't mess around. I mean, it caused horrific stomach cramps, nausea, and untimely movements, but wow, it works. Well. Expect actresses to be raving about this product around award season. It's like this season's Adderall.
Anyways, unexpected weight loss aside, I am packed and ready for the big day tomorrow. I think everyone has asked me how I'm feeling (which is so very nice, thank you), but I have to say: I have no idea. I mean, it can't be that bad, right? People do this and go home with newborns that they have to breastfeed around the clock. I just have to make sure I don't tear my stitches while I flip pages on the iPad and snack on Fritos. So...who knows? I'm just praying my brain doesn't disconnect from my bladder again. (pleasepleasepleaseplease).
I saddest about leaving Scotty for a few days. It'll be weird to not see him at every meal. Or in the morning. Or at night. I'm glad we're past some serious milestones like first steps and first words since it would just kill me to know he did it while I was unconscious or something. I just hope he doesn't put Grandma through the paces.
Since my 4:30am wake-up time is looming large, I'm going to end here. Also, due to the lack of food today, I am typing slowly and my stomach is rumbling in a rather disturbing fashion. I'll be sure to update the blog as soon as I'm home again, so this is good-bye. Just for now, though.
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