Hitting a wall

I'll admit it...I haven't picked up a book in almost two weeks. I just don't have the energy or interest at this point. I'm hoping this feeling will pass.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning with my regular doctor. I'm fairly positive I got the 'crazy person' sticker adhered to my chart. (I can't remember if this was from a Seinfeld episode or not...my friend Liz and I always joke that the crazier we are at the doctor's, the faster they slap on a bright red sticker that denotes we are, indeed, crazy). I have no idea why, but I pretty much cried through the whole appointment. I am just so tired of being tired. I'm tired of not being able to do anything; I have all the fixins' to make my favorite soup assembled on the counter, except Brian forgot to pick up chicken stock at the store on Monday night. I don't have the heart to tell him we need chicken stock (he worked 7:30am 'til 9:30pm yesterday), and so, no soup has been made. I'm sick of my house always feeling dirty and I must sit around in the dirt. The walls of our house are starting to close in and I'm tired of lying on the couch. I am also very sick of the 115 degree Vegas heat and having all of the moisture sucked out of my body if I dare open the door for the UPS guy.  And I really wish Emma would eat all of her food, since she is really stressing me out.

Anyways, all of this was swirling through my mind, hence the small breakdown. My doctor looked at me with a mixture of curiosity and pity and told me to be kind to myself. Um...okay, Oprah. I'm about as nice to myself as it gets; I cannot become anymore self-absorbed at this point if I tried (I didn't mention the maternity photos to him). My whole life right now appears downright luxurious; I have no commitments, no job, and nothing that would (should) be stressing me out. Argh.

Ironically enough, right after telling him that I have no appetite these days, he pointed out that our insurance is a subsidiary of the Anheuser-Busch corporation. I just shrugged and then blurted out, "THAT sounds good right about now." He just laughed and patted me on the back. Sigh.

I know I have so much to be thankful for. The baby is healthy, I'm not in the hospital, Brian is gainfully employed. I just need a day to feel down. So...that's what I'm doing. Thanks for attending my pity party.