Anyways, I wanted to thank everyone for reading my wee little blog this year. Blogs don't exist without readers (*actually, they do, but why debate semantics?) and I've read every single comment and every single email that you've sent and please know I appreciate the time you've taken to be interested in our lives out here. 2009 has, by far, been the best, most exciting, scariest, strangest, most eye-opening, and most adrenaline-fueled year of my life. It was on December 29th, 2008 that I found out I was pregnant, and I remember thinking, "Wow, this year ahead is going to be a big one!" Um, understatement of the year. Decade, perhaps. I don't think anything could have prepared me for the ups (Scotty! Ben!) or the downs (jaundice! Emma! our ghetto neighborhood!). A little part of me is relieved that a lot of the drama appears to be over (please knock on a piece of wood near you, right now) and we're hoping 2010 is a happy, fruitful, drama-free year full of Scotty milestones and adorable baby moments (and perhaps, maybe, fingers-crossed, a new house, too).
I feel like I've grown by leaps and bounds this year. I learned that bedrest sucks, but you can make the best of it. I learned that breastfeeding is intensely complicated, but pumping is a good alternative. I learned that catheters suck but...nothing. They just suck.
I learned that pets are wonderful but cannot and will never compare to a child. I also found an amazing friend in my sister, with whom I talk almost daily. I am so, so thankful/grateful/excited that we get to take this journey of Motherhood together, literally taking each step at exactly the same time. I found a new respect for my parents and everything they have done (and continue to do) for Brian and I. I found walking away from my job is a lot easier than I ever imagined, and being a parent is seriously the hardest, most exhausting job ever.
I feel so thankful that everything turned out okay, too, this year. It was on New Year's Day when I started to have unexplained bleeding with the pregnancy, and I remember thinking, "Oh my god, it's over before it even began." Somehow, someway, things managed to right themselves and that little baby bump eventually became our little Bear. Brian and I were talking last night and we both agreed that while our lives were so much easier and more uncluttered before the arrival of Scotty, we wouldn't trade anything in the world for that convenience since we love our little guy so much. It's more work that I anticipated but when Scotty smiles or laughs or buries his face in my chest, I can't help but laugh or snuggle back. He truly is the best of both Brian and I.
I hope, too, that if anything, I've been honest in this blog and that honesty comes through. Motherhood isn't all cuddly babies and raspberries; it's a freaking ton of work, complete with gallons of spit-up, dirty diapers, sleepless nights and more breastmilk than you ever thought possible. I've never been one to 'put on a good face' - if I'm upset, there's a very good chance that you (and the rest of North America) knows it. I don't ever want to come across as something I'm not, so thanks for being with me even when this blog was hard to read or uncomfortable at times. If this blog was helpful to new moms or pregnant folks or hell, even folks without kids, than it was all worth it.
So, I'm raising my glass of champagne (figuratively) and wishing you and yours the best this holiday season. Thanks for reading, and we'll see you next year!