The Bed Rest Book Club
Share it!
  • Blog
  • About
  • Dining (Vegan and Nonvegan)
  • Running Stuff
  • Recipes!

My Unhealthy Relationship with the Baby Monitor

9/30/2010

2 Comments

 
It started out innocently, as most abusive relationships do.

I received the baby monitor we registered for. It was what I wanted, right? I mean, I asked for it. I requested it. And I got it. So first lesson: be careful what you wish for; you just might get it.

During Scotty's first few weeks at home, I realized I was in some deep trouble. See, I had lived with Emma for the better part of eight years at that point. For anyone who knew or met Emma, she didn't have a normal cat meow. She had this guttural, deep "MA-OW!" that erupted from her body, usually starting as early as 5am. Her meow was so distinct that not one, not two, but three different people actually talked about her (and the meow) in our wedding video. Yes, we have interesting friends, but more to the point is Emma had a very, er, unnatural sound to her.

I had literally been conditioning myself for eight years to ignore all noises around me to get a healthy night of sleep (and she wasn't allowed in our room at night, making her "MAOW" even louder from behind a closed door). By the time Scotty joined us, I was very good at sleeping through even the loudest of small, brown cats -- which wasn't  a good thing. His little meek, whimper-like baby noises came through the monitor as little squeaks, barely audible, and completely unrecognizable to my sleeping brain. I'm not kidding you, but the first few times I heard him in my sleepy state, I had forgotten we even had a baby. (Mother of the Year, right here. Thank you, thank you.)

So after leaping out of bed several times and running to the nursery, worried that he had been crying too long, I turned the monitor way, way up and started re-conditioning myself to jump at any noise (which is oh-so-fun now, as I re-condition myself for the third time in one year to try to sleep through the night). It worked for awhile, but the monitor was so full of static, that kept me up more than Scotty's night wakings.

Eventually, we figured out the night stuff. But the nap time stuff...oh, lord. That stupid monitor crackles, snaps and practically pops at every noise. I caught myself the other day, sitting on the couch, motionless for almost 20 minutes, fixated on what I was hearing on the monitor. Every sigh, every turn or roll, and the damn thing went off. There would be three blissful minutes of silence, and then Scotty would moan. And it would send my brain into a tizzy. Why isn't he sleeping? Why is it taking him so long to go down? Are we moving to one nap? Is that healthy at his age? Honestly, I'm not exaggerating, but naps are the worst part about staying home. They cause me undo amounts of stress. Listening and wondering what's going on in the nursery, twice a day, every day, is literally crazy-making. As in, I would rather go outside and weed the rocks in 110 degree heat than listen to that stupid monitor (which is essentially how I spend most of August.)

And it wasn't until this weekend that I realized, this isn't a Scotty problem, this is a baby monitor problem. Aw, snap.

How did I realize this? Brian, of course. He put Scotty down for the first nap, and I watched as he just casually hopped in the shower and ran around the house, doing stuff. He didn't sit by the monitor, holding his breath. He didn't gasp, wring his hands, or cry every time Scotty made a noise (amplified 300x, thanks to the monitor). No, Brian had the belief that Scotty would fall asleep, and he trusted him to do so. He didn't need to sit there and wait for it to happen. And you know what? He fell asleep. It took about 20 minutes, but he fell asleep on his own, regardless of a vigil by the monitor.

I'm not going to lie; breaking up with the monitor has been very, very tough for me. I usually can last about 10 minutes before I go running back to it, snap on his little dial and anxiously await a peep, scream or moan (what if he got his foot stuck in the crib and I missed it?). I keep telling myself, he's fine, I do not have to sit in silence until the monitor is quiet, but it's hard. I finally put the monitor in a different room, forcing me to get up if I want to turn it on. And on one particularly bad day, I actually pitched the monitor off of our second floor balcony in a burst of unprecedented violence.

(Of course, I immediately ran downstairs and checked the monitor, plugging it in to make sure it still worked. I'm fairly certain I apologized to it as well, officially making me a crazy person. See? Staying at home makes you do unspeakable things.)

I'm taking my monitor-free lifestyle one day at a time. You have to know, it's very hard to just cut someone - er, something - out of your life so completely, after everything he - um, it - did for you. I keep remembering the good times with the monitor, the times when Scotty fell asleep quickly and I was able to listen to blissful silence. Or the time Scotty's leg really did get caught in the crib rail and the monitor alerted me to his danger. See? It wasn't all bad. The monitor has his good side, too. No, no! I can't do that. I cannot justify the monitor's behavior. I must move forward.

I feel like the Chris Brown and Rihanna of baby monitors. We evolved into this terrible cycle: breaking up and getting back together, then breaking up. Yes, we even had some violence in the relationship, but next month, you're going to see pictures of me and the monitor riding jet skis in Miami. Not healthy, I know. ::sigh::

One day at a time, I tell myself. One day at a time.

And I as type this downstairs in the kitchen, the monitor is in our bedroom. It's on, I admit. And yes, I've been straining to hear what's going on in Scotty's room the entire time I've been writing this. I think I need a 12-step program. 

Oh baby monitor, why can't I quit you?
2 Comments
Jenn Elder
9/30/2010 04:59:45 am

haha! I am now the proud owner of two of those static making monitors with a third on the way, because the first is really static making now that it is over two years old. Yes, I still use the monitor for my two year old partly because I can't hear her over the white noise from the first floor and partly because I NEED to see what she is doing. That being said, I still do tasks with the monitor ten or so feet away from me and sometimes, I'll put her to bed at night and then remember two hours later that I didn't turn it on. My point is that you are not alone in your crazy :)

Reply
Jill
10/2/2010 06:27:10 am

Kim, do you have an audio-only monitor? I had that for the first 1.5 months and I felt just like you did...it was insanity. Then I began debating the pros and cons of a video monitor, and ultimately decided to try it. Well, it's a huge life changer! If noises come on it, I click the video for 5 seconds to see if she's OK and just being a moaner vs. if she's stuck in the crib slats. If she's not in distress, the video goes off and I head to the next room so the audio isn't so all-consuming. I really credit the video feature with saving my sanity b/c I don't have to wonder anymore! Maybe it could help you too???

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    About Me

    Think of this as the epilogue to Bridget Jones' story. Well, mostly. Bridget marries the handsome lawyer, starts a blog while on bedrest, and decides marathon running sounds like fun. Bridget goes through a divorce but keeps running. Hilarity ensues. 

    Archives

    September 2020
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    September 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    October 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    March 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010
    January 2010
    December 2009
    November 2009
    October 2009
    September 2009
    August 2009
    July 2009
    June 2009

    Categories

    All
    Adolescence
    Baby Activities
    Baby Care
    Bed Rest
    Book Reviews
    Bravo Tv
    Breast Feeding
    Cool Stuff
    Craftiness
    Craig\'s List
    Dogs
    Emma
    Ethical Dilemmas
    Family
    Family Relationships
    Food
    Football Season
    Friendship
    Google List
    Grief
    Guest Blogger
    Guest Bloggers
    I Hate Our Neighborhood
    Junior League
    Kernicterus
    Milestones
    Motherdhood
    Motherhood
    Movies
    My Bladder
    New House
    Numbers
    Pending Reviews
    Post Partum
    Potty Training
    Potty-training
    Pregnancy
    Relationships
    Reviews
    Running
    Scary Stuff
    School
    Scotty
    Sleep
    Sororities
    Sunshine Cupcakes
    Surgery
    The Bobby
    The Holidays
    The Miracle Blanket
    The New House
    Todderville
    Toddlerville
    Toys
    Tv
    Tv Review
    Tv Reviews
    Unpopular Opinions
    Vegas
    Weight Loss
    Weird Stuff Kim Says
    Work

    RSS Feed

Thanks for reading!