Puppy, Frat Boy, or Rude Houseguest?

Living with a toddler is an interesting experience.

I feel as though it can be summed up by looking at the behaviors of three very different groups of individuals: puppy, frat boy, or rude houseguest. Let me explain...

-- will eat food right out of your hand: puppy

-- exists on a diet heavy on mac n'cheese and very few green veggies:  frat boy

-- needs to be driven everywhere: rude houseguest

See what I mean? I'll keep going...

-- has an overwhelming fascination with his genitals:  frat boy

--  occasionally needs to be hosed off before entering the house:  puppy

-- keeps very strange hours:  frat boy

-- enjoys food fights and flinging food everywhere:  frat boy

-- rarely, if ever, cleans up after himself:  rude houseguest

-- comes when you call:  puppy

-- walks like they are drunk: frat boy

-- drools a lot:  puppy

-- never brings his laundry down on wash day: rude houseguest

Wait! There's more!

-- doesn't like your cooking:  rude houseguest

-- yet eats scraps off the floor, hours later:  puppy

-- gets angry when he doesn't get his way: frat boy

-- would like in a pig sty if you were not there to clean up: frat boy

-- has an opinion even when you don't want to hear it: rude houseguest

-- eats dirt: puppy

-- enjoys breaking stuff: frat boy

It's really amazing when you think about it -- the complicated brain and behavior of a toddler can be broken down into these three groups. No need to buy anymore expensive baby books! Just think about what you know about each of these groups and you, too, can successfully navigate Toddlerville.

FrankenBear