Sad news

I haven't written much in the last few days, mainly because I haven't been reading much. While last week I loved bed rest, this week seems to be dragging. Just getting to the month of July will mark a major mental milestone for me, and I am anxious for it.

We also received some sad news about our little pumpkin cat, Emma.  As most of you know, she was diagnosed with an inoperable kind of nasal cancer back in January 2009. They gave her about two to three months to live. Miraculously (but not surprising - we have decided that Emma clearly has more than nine lives), she is still kickin' it. I'm trying to use an objective eye to measure quality of life and food and water intake, and she seems to be doing very well.

However, this past Tuesday, I scheduled an appointment with our vet due to some erratic behavior on Emma's part. She has developed a tendency to walk into a room, stop, swivel her head around several times, and then start meowing and look really confused. I thought perhaps the nasal tumor was starting to cause neurological damage by pressing on the frontal lobes of her little cat brain.  As it turns out, the vets (yes, plural - never a good sign - I got two vets for the price of one; both of them looked at me with sad eyes. I think they are slightly afraid of giving the crazy pregnant lady bad news about her cat) determined that Emma has lost sight completely in her right eye, and has partial sight in her left. They performed a battery of highly sophisticated tests that involved waving their hands in front of her face and shining a light in each eye and they were right; Emma barely flinched. Her right pupil never dilated and her left eye was slow to respond. They felt as though the tumor is putting pressure on the chasm where the optic nerves cross, causing blindness.  This was certainly not the news I expected. Just goes to show you that you should never send a therapist to do a vet's job. I would have ordered a full battery of neuro-psych testing, not an eye exam.

And yes, I cheated on bed rest to take her into the vet. I'm not sorry. Emma has been a part of our family for over seven years and has brought the husband and I unending entertainment, love, and happiness. We know the end is coming (we call it 'going back to North Korea' -- don't ask. Long story), but I just can't imagine our lives without the little cat. When her time does come, I just hope she is able to go without pain or stress.

::Sigh::

Am sad now. Going back to my normal sad-Kim activities, that involves watching copious amounts of the Food Network and eating frosting.