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State of the Toddler

8/22/2012

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Age: 3 years, 4 days

Height: 39.5 inches

Weight: 35.2 pounds

Clinical impressions: the Bear appears to be on target for all of his developmental milestones. However, Dr. Awesome felt as though some of his speech was "unclear" and this may warrant further assessment.

Huh?

I tried to keep calm as she told me this, but I will admit, I'm confused. I was really excited for our three-year well check. I sat in the exam room with a mixture of eagerness and anticipation, happy to show off our young child like he was a potted plant or something. Look, Doc! We managed to keep it alive for another year! Gold star!

And then her comment just totally deflated me. I'm trying really hard to not assume the Defensive Mom Posture (i.e. "No, he's perfect. Where did you get your medical degree again?") but I don't really see a problem with his language. I understand every word he says perfectly. Hell, I practically read his mind most days. Isn't that what Moms are supposed to do? I know that all mothers report they can understand their children, even when the rest of world has no idea what they are saying, so I understand I am not a reliable source of information. But really? Does this really warrant further evaluation?

I know I can be a difficult patient (somewhere, my husband and  my mother are nodding their heads quietly), so I did not take the news kindly. I hammered questions at her in a vaguely snotty tone. "What exactly do you mean? Can you elaborate? Can you tell me what you are hearing or seeing that is a concern? What is our next step? What do you recommend? How significant is this?"

Dr. This-Close-To-Getting-Fired stammered a bit (and probably flagged Scotty's chart with the "Difficult Parent" sticker), so I called a friend and asked for a second opinion. She assured me that Scotty's speech is excellent though she's happy to provide referrals if necessary. (Tip for Parents-to-Be: seek out Mommy friends that also have helpful jobs, like audiologist and pediatrician. Stack the deck in your favor; you'll save yourself a million in co-pays).

So, I don't know. Is our doctor getting kick-backs or something? If cab drivers can get kick-backs from strip clubs, who knows if pediatricians are in cahoots with other specialists. I mean, this is Vegas. Poor Prince Harry can't even party naked without the world finding out. Nothing about this town surprises me anymore.

Despite this little hiccup, the Bear appears to be a healthy and happy little guy. In the meantime, here's a quick run-down of the Bear, Year Three:

Current likes:
Trucks, cars, street sweepers, car transporters, any construction        
    vehicle, tow trucks, ... .... (this list could literally go on forever)
Chicken nuggets
Froggie (as always)
Little white bear and his Momma
his Daddy
Indiana Grandma
Compressors
Windmills
Watching videos of cute kittens on You Tube
Bubble Guppies, particularly the one where Albie falls off his tricycle
    ("Call the Clambulance!)
Looking for "super letters"
Strawberry smoothies
Lollipops
Henry
Building castles
Playing Batman (i.e. playing with his cars on his car table. Not sure how     this one got named...)
His big boy bed with his extra-special pillow cases (from Indiana
    Grandma, naturally)
Uncle Jim
Bossing his parents around
Carson and Sam
Punctuation (no joke...he loves exclamation marks)
Jackson and Alex
Saying "Quesadilla!" to Lauryn
Grocery shopping (in particular, pushing his own cart)

Dislikes:
Camp
Beets
Dogs, except JD ("They chew on me")
His pediatrician (oh wait, that's me)
Walking quickly
Keeping Play-Doh colors separate
The car seat in Brian's car ("It hurts my booty")

The next year should bring some big changes...can't wait to see how it unfolds!



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