'The Bachelorette' recap

I would just like to take this moment to thank Jillian for choosing four of the most emotionally-unavailable men ever, in the history of the show. All of them balked when she brought up the future. All of them stammered and stuttered when it came to proposing at the end of the show. The more she pressed, the faster all of them scurried into their little safe zones, far away from her neediness and clingy-ness. (is that even a word? I don't know and I don't care).

Is she some kind of emotional masochist? I mean, seriously. She continues to chose Ed, who left her for his job, only to return two episodes later.  She's clearly mad at him, but instead of saying, 'Hey Ed, I'm really pissed you left,' and getting it on the table, she continues to berate him in the most passive aggressive manner. ("I would have really love to have a home-town date..." Dead silence, while Ed squirms uncomfortably and looks down, probably wondering why he came back in the first place).  She brought Wes to the final four, despite several accusations that he has a girlfriend, only to have what can be considered the most awkward date ever filmed. It's clear that Kiptyn will never love anyone else more than he loves himself. And poor Reid - I think he might actually like Jillian, but his preoccupation with germs and his inability to grasp the Spanish language are distracting him from being able to be fully present.

Little Michael, the man-pup, is at home, crying. Jake, Mr. Perfect, is probably crying in the cock pit right now. I agree with the decision to send what's-his-name (the guy that looks like Kiptyn but is the wine-maker) home, but Jillian could have easily made up for his emotional distance by drinking copious amounts of his homemade wine. An adequate consolation prize.

Don't even get me started on Wes. Both Brian's and my head snapped up when Wes started muttering under his breath before the start of the rose ceremony. "If I go home...think of me. Having lots of sex." WHAT?! Who even says that? Brian took that moment to declare Wes the greated bachelor, ever.  Brian loves it when people on reality shows make fun the reality show itself. How postmodern of him.

And when Wes is finally, finally, finally was sent home (Chris Harrison's accusing voice over, pre-rose ceremony: "Will Jillian FINALLY get rid of Wes?" left little to the imagination), Wes spent the limo ride to crying and lamenting over losing the love of his life. No, wait. He didn't do that. Instead, he drank beer, accused the limo driver of driving in circles, and told the camera when his album was dropping.  He then congratulated himself on being the only guy to make it to the 'final four' with a girlfriend, and literally snipped off his imaginary chains while boasting about the night he was about to have in Spain. Klassy.

I'm done. I'm so done with this show. Is it possible that none of the guys left will propose? We know from coming attractions that one of them has some, er, issues in the bedroom. Cue the Viagra and Cialis commercials. What's next? Domestic violence?

Last week on 'Wheel of Fortune,' it was 'Canada Week.'  One of the trips was for two people to visit Vancouver for 10 days. I told Brian if we won that, we could go visit Jillian (Vancouver native). Without missing a beat, Brian replied, "Yeah, that would be great. We could go on a double date. Oh, wait, we can't. Because she'll still be single."

Sigh. So very true.

Grade: F (but A for entertainment)