Tired

Just really, really tired today.

Had a meltdown around 6pm (Scotty, not me). Now I am worried about what I ate yesterday and am afraid to use that milk supply.

Is breast feeding supposed to be that hard? Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I don't know how I'm supposed to live for the next few months if I am constantly worrying about I am eating. Are babies really that sensitive to a mom's diet? All I had last night was a nice steak and a small caesar salad. Was it the dressing? (no raw eggs) Was it the steak sauce?

I'm back to my turkey-sandwich with grapes meal. And we had grilled organic chicken tonight with green grapes and baby carrots, and then I had berries for dessert. It's healthy but so darn boring.

We're doing formula tonight just to make sure that we don't have a screaming child at 2am.

Then again, the meltdown could have been the time of day (twilight), it could have been he was overtired, overstimulated, maybe his diaper was on too tight...or nothing at all. Maybe he just felt like screaming.

This is what I hate about Motherhood. It's such a guessing game and you never know when you have the right answer.

Oh, well.