What the heck? When did this get so hard again?
Scotty is officially turning over a new leaf and decided that no, he does not want to eat. Anything. Well, I take that back - he'll eat it if it's a.) covered in cheese b.) primarily made out of cheese c.) dipped in applesauce, or d.) a banana. But everything else? Be damned, food, be damned.
This started about two weeks ago, but it hit a fevered pitch late last week when he refused avocados - AVOCADOS, my friend. His first food, ever. I had been doing okay, a little frustrated, but when he shoved that avocado back in my face, man, that's when it got personal. I was like, "Scotty, really? This was your first food. You love avocados. You are a West Coast baby. You have eaten so many avocados that I keep expecting your skin to turn a leathery green." He ignored my pleas and pushed the food right back at me. And then rubbed some in his ear for good measure.
And perhaps most tragically, it was really a perfect avocado that we were discussing. Exactly ripe, soft but not too soft...a true waste.
So I did any mother in my position would do: I mashed it up and made a rather tasty guacamole. When life hands you lemons (or a fabulously ripe avocado), I guess you really are supposed to make food out of it. A mom probably came up with that saying.
And now we are off bottles and formula completely, I'm kind of freaking out that he's not getting the nutrition that he needs. Bottles are like the perfect plan B - eat whatever you want, but I know I'm covered because you are still drinking 24 fluid oz of goodness. Now...it feels like anyone's game.
I've tried pancakes. I've tried scrambled eggs. We are making lots of almond butter and jelly sandwiches (which he will or won't eat, depending on the day). I feed him bites of Nutri-grain bars only for him to put them in his mouth, chew it up, and then spit it back at me. Do you know how gross partially-regurgitated Nutri-grain bar is? It's gross. Trust me.
I think the most frustrating part is that I'm spending all of this time on his meals, only for him to eat 1/10 of it or not eat it at all. And since I'm a nervous mom, I reach for the block of cheese in the fridge or the banana on the counter and give in, since I don't want him to go to bed hungry.
Not to mention, on diet heavy on cheese, bananas, and applesauce, this kid is never going to poop again.
I could only imagine if the good people of Bravo did a Top Chef for toddlers. For the quick fire challenge, it would be "come up with something an 18-month old will eat." The result? "Well, Padma, I sauteed the pork tenderloin in a little brown butter with shallots and a hint of Sherry vinegar; I then braised the artichokes and fennel and tossed them with some Meyer lemon juice. Finally, I added ten slices of American cheese to be melted on top and paired it with a slice of banana and a dish of applesauce."
And then the toddler that Padma is holding eats only the cheese, banana, and applesauce, and smears the rest of it in his eyes, hair, and heaves a good chunk of pork tenderloin at another contestant.
This is my life.