The Bachelor: Episode of the Ugly Criers (sponsored by Kleenex, natch)
The Bachelor: Watching Brad Womack Play Therapist with 17 Women
The Bachelor: Daddy Issues Abound
I got several texts last night from a friend who commented on the unprecedented number of girls bemoaning late fathers, absentee fathers, and just men in general. She was convinced the producers had stacked the deck this time around and dealt Brad a whole bunch of troubled women. I can't help but agree. I don't remember another season where there was this much talk of troubled family life (and I would remember. I have a memory for that kind of stuff.) So yeah, they must have amended The Bachelor application as soon as they knew Brad was their guy, and added a section called "Paternal Problems." Sample questions? Was your father ever homeless? Is he currently living? Did he enjoy Seal as much as you do?
(on a personal note, I'd like to add that I don't think I have many father issues. My dad is a pretty chill guy who was my softball coach and taught me to nail stuff together. Thanks, Dad.)
I will admit, I was a little irritated throughout the entire episode. It was the third episode, which meant this is the one where the girls freak out over Brad kissing everyone, bemoan how hard the "process" is (what did you expect, ladies?) and begin to eye the door with serious contemplation. I will hand it to Madison, who did a full 180 from Episode 1, and really did leave. After hearing Emily's tale of love lost, she had this epiphany that maybe her intentions were not in the right place (she is also listed as an aspiring actress, fyi) and stated that if she were to take a rose from another girl who really wanted one, she wouldn't feel right with herself. Whether that is true or not remains to be seen, but it was an honorable way to exit, in my opinion.
The episode jumped the shark right around the women had to act in an action/adventure movie. What the what? Are you kidding? Blah. I mean, we're already taking an extremely cheesy show about fake love and now we're adding fake acting to it? And it's directed by Steven Ho? What, was John Wu busy that day? Either way, I could barely stomach the scenes and may or may not have taken a small nap on my couch at that point. (please don't get angry; I had to stay up to see the whole damn episode since I wouldn't have time to watch and blog about it with the one nap schedule. So a small snoozie was in order. Curse you, one nap schedule!)
But I managed to open my eyes again when Brad committed perhaps the most bumbling of all first date blunders; pushing Emily on a small plane despite her fear/trauma of planes. Great job, Brad. He didn't know, obviously, and I found myself liking Emily less and less as she played coy about her background. I mean, really? I get it that her story has scared guys off in the past, but this isn't exactly one's normal situation. Your date is also seeing 16 other women and it's being filmed. So...start spilling, girlfriend.
My only (hazy) thoughts during their dinner in the barn (aside from thinking Emily has never seen an episode of The Bachelor, based on her surprised reaction to the dinner) was, "I don't think candles and hay mix." Ditto for later on during the rose ceremony when they kept showing that angle of Madison, and there was a candle right next to a giant, flammable drape. Was Fire Prevention off that week or something? C'mon crew, we have enough people who've lost loved ones on this show. We don't need to add to it by having a fire ravage the Bachelor/ette Mansion.
And in the end, it was Sarah P and Kimberly from North Carolina who were let go. I wish I could say something nice about them, but most of the episode was dominated by commentary by Michelle. We hardly knew Sarah P and Kimberly. And we barely know any of the other girls - Lisa? Marissa? She was practically mute this time around. Lindsay? Britt? These ladies need some face time, too.
Michelle can stuff it, for all I care. I feel like she's that manipulative, bitchy girl that hooks up with your very sweet, very naive guy friend, and then you watch her just play with him for the next three years, while he defends her to the group. She knows Brad is vulnerable - hell, Jaime Green, therapist, told him to be! - and is attacking him right in the soft spot. Argh. I refuse to use any more of the entry to talk about her since she's just so offensive to me.
Thankfully, the previews next week look like they are going to reel Brad in a little bit. No more Hollywood shrink who makes house calls; no, we've got the real deal coming in: Dr. Drew Pinsky. And despite the fact he's an addiction specialist, he's talking with Brad and the ladies on a radio show about their relationships. I feel like The Bachelor just redeemed itself. And I am also willing to bet that my sweet, dear friend Kris E practically rolled off her couch, some 1700 miles away in a suburb of Chicago, when Dr. Drew appeared on screen. She's a huge Bachelor fan and a self-professed Dr. Drew fanatic. So maybe she'll guest blog for next week's ep? :-)