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TV Review: The Bachelor with Ben, Ep 3: The LeapList

1/17/2012

1 Comment

 
So weird thing happened last night: I'm sitting on the couch, barely cognizant due to this ridiculous sinus infection, with my face buried in the pillows and the TV blaring. I was just about to nod off when I heard - this is very weird - my own voice coming from the TV.

No, I wasn't hallucinating. The PSA I taped in December just aired. And strangely, I found myself staring at, well, myself. With kind of this awkward sense of "I know her...I am her!" feeling.

Seeing yourself on TV is not pleasant, particularly in high-def. So in this review, I will be much nicer to the girls.

(and if you are curious, one day I'll write the story of the PSA. I think I'll call it "How I Spent My Christmas Vacation." Honestly, it wasn't nearly as exciting as I thought it would be. But it is airing on the local NBC station at various times!)

So with my new humbled attitude toward Ben and the ladies, Ep 3 found them in San Fran, Ben's favorite city. I missed the part with his sister (mainly because I rewinded the PSA like, eight times and watched that for the first ten minutes of the show), but I didn't miss much. By the time I tuned in, Emily and Ben were scaling the Golden Gate Bridge and Emily (Dr. Emily, as I'll call her) was lamenting about her fear of heights.

Um...what? People go to the Golden Gate Bridge to kill themselves, not fall in love. Climbing that thing does not look appealing, and I, too, Ye of the Fearful of Heights Club, totally agree with Dr. Emily. Stay the hell off that thing! Heights are dangerous for a reason. And the whole "clip-unclip-my-harness" bit would have had me pulling a Britteny and high-tailing it home. (more on that later).

But our future epidemiologist (and my new favorite person) stuck it out and made it to the top. For a second, I was having flashes of Vienna and Jake during their bungee jump, but I don't think Emily will last long in this competition. She's far too practical, smart and normal. I love her reactions to Courtney, and did anyone else hear her pull out the word "diagnose?" I was cracking up from my couch. Emily is definitely my new favorite.

After the bridge, they had dinner, talked, kissed, blah, blah. She got a rose.

For the group date, the producers must have decided that the show hasn't sold out quite enough, so they squished all of the people into a bunch of Honda CR-Vs and made Ben talk about made-up taglines like "leap list." Maybe it's just me, but I've never heard of the phrase "leap list." And interestedly, Honda aired several commercials (to promote their CR-V) that used the phrase "leap list." I don't think it's going to become part of my vernacular just yet, but thanks for trying.

Also, Honda? I appreciate your attempt to market your mini-van to singles/engaged/just-married folks, but I think we all know your van is the car we buy after we find out we're expecting baby #2. You can eek out a couple more years in the non-mini-van with just one kid, but once #2 comes along, you've got us forever. No need to try so hard. We'll come to you...eventually.

Okay, now back to our regularly scheduled program.

The ladies had to snow-ski (?) in bikinis (??) down a street in San Fran (???). The only person who appeared mildly happy about this was Ben and perhaps some of the guys standing around watching the taping. I was waiting for some kind of serious wardrobe malfunction (skiing?? In a bikini??) but the guys in editing did their jobs well. Whew.

During the group date, Ben looked like he was feelin' pretty good - doing shots, grinning. He looked like the cat that ate the canary. Britteny popped his bubble a bit by declining the one-on-one date and then promptly left the show for good. She didn't really get a lot of air time, so I'm not sure what prompted that, but oh well. See ya later, Britt. Say hi to your grandma for us.

Undeterred, Ben gave the rose to a new-looking Rachel. Was it me, or did she color her hair since the last episode? She looked very...fresh. Maybe it was the blue dress? Either way, I almost didn't recognize her. But she got the rose and made poor Kacie B slump a little farther in her chair.

With Britteny on the first plane outta there, Ben offered the date to Lindzi, She of the Weirdly-Spelled Name and The Girl Who Rode in on a Horse. I'm also going to offer this moniker: The Girl Who Constantly Looks Down. Why does she tilt her head like that? Is it so her bangs droop at just the right spot? 'Cause it's really annoying. I  had the urge to yell, "Pick your head up!" every time she was on camera. And she kept making that strange grimace – I mean, smile- that was very Kelly Killoran-Benisimmon-esque. Ugh. Like, just smile normally. You can tell she’s been practicing her “TV face” for months now in the mirror.

(Okay, maybe I’m not being so nice. But her facial expressions are weird. And this is coming from the girl who yelled out "What do I do with my face?" during the taping of her PSA.)

Also, when they were breaking into City Hall, did anyone stop to tell Lindzi that this is a TV show? That Ben really doesn’t have the key to the city? They really arent' breaking in...this is all staged/planned/arranged. It’s just a clever little way to name a date? Someone needs to clue her in. She looked like she was taking the whole thing waaaaay too seriously. Either producers prepped her a little too much, or she has the intelligence of a rock.

Paging Dr. Emily. I miss you and your funny remarks. Please come back to the camera…

Anyways, Ben and Lindzi had a nice date and she got a rose. I find her to be the second most annoying person in the house right now (with Courtney claiming in the #1 spot), so let’s hope she leaves soon.

At the rose ceremony, Shawntel from Brad’s season arrived. The claws came out! Wow! Girls are mean! I mean, I know I am one and stuff, but mee-yow! “My thighs are thinner than hers,” sniffed the light-headed law student with the mouth-tattoo. Courtney declared that she would not accept her rose if Shawntel got one, yet immediately bended as soon as she was the first one called. What a poser. I can’t stand her.

In the end, everyone, including color-blocking Jennifer (trendy! Wasn’t expecting that!) got a rose except the law student, Jaclyn, and Shawntel. I don’t really care if Shawntel came back or what past she has/had with Ben, but it sure made for some good TV.

My only question: is Jaclyn still in that bathroom?
1 Comment
Jill
1/17/2012 06:43:10 am

We're sooo on the same page! I love Emily now but she's toast b/c she's not spicy enough. Courtney is #1 evil and Lindzi is #2, with Elyse coming up in 3rd place. My fav comment of the night was (I think by Jaclyn before heading to the bathroom), "On a scale of 1 to 10, I think I'm going to throw up!"

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