(shout out to my favorite intern!)
Anyways, I've kinda/sorta been watching The Bachelor, but ever since I read the spoilers, it's lost its luster. I am still steaming mad at who takes home the final rose, and quite honestly, this show is becoming more and more fake. Yes, there are those of you out there who are all like, "Kim, it was fake from the beginning." But I don't like to have my bubble popped, you know?
So I watched this episode with one ear and both eyes on the computer last Tuesday. I missed it Monday night since my mom was in town and I was not about to subject her to two hours of potential torture. There would also be a lot of explaining involved (like the whole rose ceremony thing and why Chris Harrison keeps popping up unexpectedly) so I just saved it for Tuesday at nap time. Forgive me if my commentary is lacking. Although there are only four girls left, I'm still not sure of some of their names.
First up was Lindzi. It appeared that her family lives in Florida and enjoys chariot racing. Her folks offered no explanation for the funky spelling of her first name (like, "We like her older sister a lot more" or "Her father was drunk when he filled out the birth certificate") but they seemed like an okay bunch. Lindzi just went through a bad break-up a year ago, so the family is especially protective. Which makes total sense, then, by welcoming reality show cameras into your home when your daughter's heart and mental health is on the line. Anyways...
It was your typical date. Nothing note worthy, but I may missed something.
I missed Nicki's (Nikki's?) date completely. This the chick that I'm like, "She's still there? What's her name again?" I believe her back story is she married her college sweetheart and divorced him in 2010 after three years of marriage. (Actually, that is her back story. Thank you, US Weekly). So again, she thought it was wise to sign up for a reality show and find love on camera. Not to mention, 2010? Is the ink dry yet on that divorce decree? May want to slow down there, Nikki/Nicki.
Then, I believe Kacie B was next (??). Though I don't remember the order of the dates, I haven't forgotten hers. While I like her and thought initially she was a good match for Ben, OH HOLY GOD OF HOME TOWN DATES. WAS THAT A MARCHING BAND? I mean, I'm not exactly the coolest cat at the club. I know that, and I'm quite fine with it. But I know enough that "MARCHING BAND" never, ever says "Marry me!" regardless of how geeky/quirky your love interest is (unless of course, they themselves are in band. Not just a band, but a MARCHING band. And this is coming from someone who was in marching band.)
(Flutes '96 rock!).
I mean, twirling a baton (for the second time, mind you, on national TV) and marching with - let's just be honest here - a scary-looking group of high school students belting out an out-of-tune ditty...yeah, even before Ben had the um, pleasure of meeting Kacie's family, I knew she was toast. Kacie, get some game, girl. Just a bit. Leave the baton at home, at least until you have a ring on your finger.
And then Ben met Kacie's lovely family, including her father who does not drink. As Ben so succinctly put it, "I'm in the booze business. How is this going to work?" Kacie's parents then took it one step farther by completely smothering their eager-to-please daughter and putting restrictions on her, like, "You can't live with a man before marriage" and "We won't give you our blessing if he does propose." Aside from the fact I don't agree with the McJudgersons, Kacie, you are 24! You don't have to listen to them anymore. I hate to say it, and this is really mean of me, but the first thing that popped into my head when watching her overbearing family is, "The eating disorder makes sense now."
Kacie, move away. Far, far away. You'll do just fine on your own.
My friend Nieva had the best comment about Kacie's visit, as she imagined Kacie saying good-bye to Ben and then prompting going back into the house, slamming the door, and screaming, "I hate you, Mom and Dad!" Yeah, I can see that too. Thanks for the fun visual, Nieva.
And on to Courtney. So the interwebs were abuzz with comments about Courtney's visit. Apparently, she came off as much kinder, much more gentle, and a lot more human than in past episodes. She's all, "I was just stressed in the house" and "I wasn't there to make friendships." Again, I think Ben is smart when he acknowledges that he doesn't want to be with someone who makes other people uncomfortable, but he seems to be blinded by her boobs/beauty to be able to remember that for very long.
I will admit, she is really pretty, and that white dress was super cute. I still think there is something funky about her mouth, and I would put money on the fact that she hired actors to play her family members. None of them looked like her, and they were all far too nice/fun to be related to her. I expected some kind of lair/cave/hole-in-the ground with bare bones strewn around as her home, not some pretty Arizona property with a sunny porch. Maybe I'll change my mind about Courtney in the future, but I'm still smarting from all of the trash she talked about my girl Emily.
Also, those intrepid reporters at US Weekly confirmed that Courtney's "vows" to Ben were practically line-for-line from a Sex and the City episode (the one when Carrie moves to Paris with the Russian). Either she was doing it tongue-in-cheek or she doesn't have an ounce of creativity - or ethics - in her.
I'm guessing the latter.
In the end, Kacie got the boot. She cried a lot in the limo (expected) and swore a considerable amount too (unexpected.) I hope Kacie breaks free from her shell - and her family shackles - and is able to be her own person one day. Twirling baton and all.
What were your thoughts? Does Courtney really have this one in the bag? Anyone else confused by Nikki/Nicki's place in the top three? How many pairs of boots does Lindzi own? Did you miss Emily's rapping talents? (I did.)