The Bachelor: Brad Womack v. Forrest Gump -- Have You Ever Seen Them in the Same Room at the Same Time?
The Bachelor: Girls with Brains Need Not Apply
Okay, so I missed Chantal's entire date. In fact, I turned on the TV right at the very moment Emily let out a very mild "shut up!" when she saw Brad round the corner atop an elephant. (and she mentioned "The Lion King"! I called it!! Yay cross promotion!)
What was I doing during this very precious Bachelor time? Oh, just filling up my overhead garage storage. ::sigh:: Yes, the very same storage that has literally been sitting in a pile of nuts, bolts, and wire pieces on the garage floor since November. I'm happy to report that the workmen not only didn't kill me or my child today, but actually did additional work and hung our shelving. (they had a good 2 hours to kill while wall stuff dried. No pun intended). I had to laugh when the main work dude showed me he could do pull-ups on it to ensure it was securely fastened- I get it, man, you have very lovely arm muscles - but my tears were from sheer relief, not awe. Because finally, blissfully, an adult dream of mine has been met: we can fit all of our cars (2) in the garage at the same time.
It was a little hard to concentrate on The Bachelor after all of the excitement of organizing my "Seasonal Decor." But I buckled down and tried really hard to focus. Brad is...dumb, no? I mean, the more the guy talks, the more I want to throw something at him. Maybe it's the editing, but he never makes jokes. He's not witty. He is certainly not clever. He barely can eek out common English phrases and his psychobabble is growing old. Brad, go ahead and stay in South Africa, even after filming is done...you are doing all of us a favor.
So I happened to catch Emily's date, though I can tell you nothing about what happened. There was a lot of talk, mostly about love and falling in love, and then one brief, shining moment when I thought Emily was going to forfeit the key to the fantasy suite. She does have a daughter. But alas, she didn't. Not only did she allegedly shack up with Brad that night, she then had the audacity to wear what I can only call the ugliest v-dress I've ever seen to the rose ceremony. Really, Emily? I've come to expect more from you. But, as Brian pointed out, Emily has no affect. Her responses to situations vary from mildly surprised to mildly happy to mildly annoyed. Can she emote? Is she getting Botox? Why does her forehead not move? Are her teeth real? But she's only 24! Argh.
And then, there was Ashley's date. I'm not a big Ashley supporter, especially after finding out last week she's not even a dentist yet (she's still in school.). But then this week, they had an extremely awkward date and I found myself totally rooting for her, because she called Brad on the carpet. I can't repeat it exactly, but she pretty much told Brad, "You want a wife and someone who will just fit into your life." Holy cats, the woman has a brain! And an awareness about her! Go Ashley! I think she absolutely nailed it, too -- Brad wants to find someone who will seamlessly fit into his life in Austin. She'll be a great support of his latest business endeavor, mind her p's and q's, and be good arm candy. Ashley is not this person -- she has school, a career, and presumably student loans. And God forbid, opinions. Not a woman with a voice! Eek, the horror. I mean, first we want the right to vote. Then we want equal pay for equal work. What's next - equality in romantic relationships? Nah...we're dreaming. Thankfully, Brad did the condescending thing on her when she called him out and put her right back in her place- "You're just like me when I was in my 20's." Oh, that's right. You're also an ageist when it suits you. Ashley took this one in, pouted for a little while, and stared off into the distance, probably thinking about her upcoming licensing exam and wondering how the heck she ended up in South Africa with this douchebag.
No big surprises here -- Brad sent Ashley packing even before the rose ceremony. And again, I give her major credit for looking at him like he's an idiot as verbal diarrhea spilled from his mouth. You could tell that she didn't care anymore (ponytail, anyone?) and just wanted to get out of there. She was over her TV gig. I'm sure the rejection hurts, but she will likely head back to PA (maybe after stopping home first for some brown gravy and fries), read "Committed" by Elizabeth Gilbert, and promptly fall in love with a nice male dentist who has a passion for flossing and good bicuspids. They'll probably open a nice little practice, pop out a couple of kids, and be very content. And this whole Brad thing in South Africa will seem like a very distant memory.
With Chantal and Emily left, I've got to say, ABC has showed zero previews of Brad on one knee. Does he propose? Does he leave them both? Does Ricky Bobby show up? And in the "Women Tell All" preview, was it me or did it look like Lindsay from Texas gain about 50 pounds? Is she pregnant? With Brad's baby? Now that's TV I'll watch!
Thoughts? Questions? Concerns?