I swore I wasn't going to watch it. Really, I did. Brian asked, I said, "Don't tape it. Don't even tempt me." Because I felt as though it had jumped the shark. (Remember how I said the same thing before Jake took the reigns?) And plus, word on the street was they were casting really crazy folks this time around -- a guy who allegedly killed his wife? Huh? Yeah, no thanks. I like my reality TV to be a guilty-pleasure (Real Housewives, anyone?), but now we are starting to border dangerously close to Flavor Flav/VH1 territory. Crazy folks need not apply.
And then, on Tuesday night, I was flipping through the channels and bummed since there was nothing to watch. (I am the only one in the world, it seems, who is not an American Idol fan. Though I'm glad that Scotty kid won, just because of his name.) I begrudgingly hit the DVR list, and literally within minutes, I was in a trance. Almost magically, a glass of red wine appeared in my hand. Chris Harrison, big as life, was on my screen and I was back in Bachelor/Bachelorette mode. Now where was my iPad so I could take notes?
Ah, Ashely. Dear Ashely. (or is it AshLEY? I'll check on that.) She landed the coveted spot as the Lady of the Manor, but she didn't get there without sacrifice. We relived her relationship with Brad Womack (which FYI, the new season kicked off on the heels of a reported hand-back of the engagement ring by Emily the Widow.) We saw the great date at the carnival, the weird green drink she consumed on a tropical vacation, and of course, the Night of the F-You Ponytail. (probably one of my favorite reality show moments, ever.) She told the cameras in great earnest that she never let her guard down, she never really opened up, and as a result, she lost out on a great love.
Argh. And here is the essential paradox of the show: she did what any smart, thinking person would do. I don't know a single rational soul who would willingly "put it all out there" on national television, mainly because of two simple words: editing process. They would have made you look like a crazy person regardless of what actually transpired Ashely, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. So don't worry about it. Brad -- not such a great catch. Consider yourself lucky you get to do Round 2.
And so we learned that in the post-Womack days, Ashely mended her broken heart by dancing in tummy-revealing shirts, being extra cheerful to dental patients, and reliving cheesy scenes from movies set in Philadelphia. She also came up with a new mantra: no regrets.
Yay. This one is going to be fun.
And now let's get to the boys.
Or men, I'm not sure. I am having the same problem that I did with Ali's season which is...they all look alike to me. Is that racist or discriminatory or something? I hope not. But once again, all of these pups are cut from the same litter. She must have told producers that she likes clean-cut, brown haired dudes with a good education and proper dental hygiene. Because they gave her twenty-five over-achieving white dudes with very straight, white teeth.
Right off the top, I liked the Solar Panel guy and the wine maker. (his hair was a bit longish, too. What a rebel! As evidenced by my husband's comment in the last post, I tend to go for the lone-wolf, rogue types.) I wrote off the mask guy as a total gimmick, and then was shocked when she gave him a rose. First, no less! I mean, really? I bet you any money the producers gave him the whole "society judges us" line after he put that silly mask on. Whatever. Maybe he was just trying to cover up a giant, honking zit or something.
Anyways, back to the men. Bentley (BentELY? What's up with these confusing ley's?) is a total trouble-maker. Warned by an unknown friend (Michele from last season? They are from the same state...) that Bentley's motives were not pure, Ashley chose to not heed the warning and gave him a rose anyway. I loved it when he told the cameras that he was very attracted to her, but he'd take the rose anyway. OMG. Drama! What a putz.
I thoroughly enjoyed watching TIm get good and sloshed. Perhaps best was when he wasn't waking from his alcohol-induced stupor, and Ashely had to recruit some other guys to drag him to the car. That is going to be a world-class hangover.
Who am I missing? I promise to take better notes next week. Hmm...oh -- the Harvard guy! Anyone notice that after spewing off his list of credentials and degrees, he was then shown getting out of a cab with loafers but no socks? Right there, I'd cut him. Gross. And as I told Brian, I am not much of a list-person (i.e. "he has to have brown hair, and like the color blue...") but any guy wearing light colored socks with dark trousers would be an instant no-rose-for-you. A girl's gotta have standards, right?
I was super happy to see Solar Panel dude get the first-impression rose, though all of the other men looked like they were going to suffocate him in his sleep because of it. I'm not sure who the front runners would be, though Bentley was shown quite a bit in the coming attractions. And that comparison stuff to Emily? ( you could hear someone saying,"I thought the Bachelorette would be Emily..." in the previews)? Ouch!! Poor Ashely. I mean, it's hard enough finding your future husband in a group of twenty-five identical men. But then they are going to compare her to Brad's (soon-to-be-ex) fiancee? That's just dirty pool.
So what are your thoughts and opinions? Does Ashley really find her husband? Does she live her motto of "no regrets"? And best of all, when will the masked man remove his mask?
My guess: when that zit clears up.
See you all for the rest of the season!