I couldn't believe that producers let Ashley - and the guys - hit that well again. I mean, it was just last season that Brad and Shawntel were flitting about on top of CityCenter. But the crew was back for more good Vegas-loving, and I'd like to think they got their fill.
So when the episode started and Ashley and William were at the Bellagio, I almost threw something at the TV. Mainly because my first thought was, "Why do I always miss the tapings? Why am I never in the right spot at the right time? I want to be on TV, too!"
And then the answer came to me - because I'm not enjoying the flowers in the Conservatory at the Bellagio; I am fighting with my child in the dark recesses of Shark Reef.
But when they showed Ashley and Mickey (later in the episode) at Mandalay Bay - AND THEN SHARK REEF - I almost fell off the couch. Okay, I guess I don't get to complain anymore.
(Just FYI: that sting ray tank they were sitting in front of is directly behind the jellyfish tank where Scotty's epic meltdown occurred. And those chairs and nice stemware are not there normally, although it would have been nice if we had been at Shark Reef the day that they filmed. Scotty would have barreled into their beautiful, nicely-set table and probably hit Mickey with the stroller. I'm sure Ashley is great with kids - she's so freaking animated - so I would have let the happy couple baby-sit while I enjoyed a glass of wine amid the sting rays. Sounds like a little slice of heaven, no?)
Okay, back to the episode.
William and Ashley went on what can only be described as the most awkward date ever. I mean, what if she didn't give him a rose at the end? They almost - jokingly - got married. (also, do they understand you need a marriage license to make it legal? Just saying the vows does not count.) But then it was all good after they rowed out to dinner in the middle of the Bellagio fountains and chatted about broken relationships with their fathers. Even as a hardened Vegas local, I will admit, that dinner looked really cool. And being so close to the water when the music began - I'd pay money for that.
(Sweetie, are you reading this? My birthday is coming up...)
Ashley gave William a rose, but I'm not so sure he's a front runner. When he was with the other guys, he was being a big dork. And, Ashley likes 'em well-educated. Will's "cellular phone services" job is probably working the counter at the local Verizon store, which does not bode well for over-achiever Ashley. So Will, enjoy your spot in the sun. It's temporary at best.
Ashley then went on to meet twelve other guys on what can only be described at the geekiest, most-cringe-inducing date ever. And not to play the card again, but as a hardened Vegas local...who are the Jaberwookzies? (Or however you spell it?) I have never heard of this show, yet Ashley called them "America's favorite dance crew." Was this another reality show? I have no idea. They haven't been on Sesame Street, I can tell you that.
So the 12 guys had to don these creepy white masks and make up a dance. Ugh. I have this strange social reaction that doesn't allow me to witness other people's humiliation without taking some of it on myself, so I was practically crawling out of my skin watching these dudes act like very sober idiots. Ashley didn't notice, as she was too busy admiring her taunt tummy in whatever reflection she could find (not really - I just made that up), but honestly, if you haven't seen this part of the show yet, just fast forward through it. You can thank me later.
Bentley was part of the dance crew that won. (of course he was...). I've officially upgraded him from "general cad" to "potential serial killer" based on the way he 1.) wore the mask and 2.) discussed his lack of feelings for Ashley so openly to the camera. Really dude? I mean, you are forsaking time with your daughter so you can tell America how little you are into the Bachelorette? If you thought it was going to be Emily, then why not just turn around and go home, instead of prolonging this horrible torture. And kissing her in front of the fire like that? Oh wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. And not to mention, I think he does go home next week, if the previews are accurate.
With that in mind, I hate to say this but...the rest of the review will be posted tomorrow. (sorry!) But since we love cliffhangers, let me leave you with this...Mickey picks his teeth! JP goes from zero to hero! And...will Jeff finally remove his mask? Better than that, I'm going to extrapolate on how a person chooses a mask to wear on national television...because Jeff clearly picked his up at the Dollar Store.
See you all tomorrow for part 2!