(I just really like that word right now, too. Heebie-jeebie! Wee!)
So you can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was that Emily chose NOT to forgo her individual room. I mean, she did, but not really, but then Jef did, but well, I'll explain it all later. Just know I gave a silent fist pump to the southern belle for not sleazing up ABC's 8 o'clock programming. No overnight dates, and no hot tubs this season. Nice work, Emily!
The kids are in Curucao, which I had always pronouced "ker-A-CO." Who knew it's actually "ker-a-SOW"? The water is blue, the sky is bright, and Emily trots off to meet...Sean! The one guy that has not professed his undying love for her. Can anyone answer me, has any bachelor/bachelorette ever had so many professions of love so early in the game? I mean, Arie was saying he loved her three episodes ago. It seems that by the time the Fantasy Suite Dates arrive, most folks are hemming on the "well, I think I am falling in love with you...kind of" phase. Not this Bachelorette. She's tapping her watch, waiting for Sean to make his giant statement, though Sean has no idea two other guys have beaten him to the punch. Poor Sean.
He did, however, finally get there. He wrote a very sweet (though kind of creepy, no?) letter to Ricky, Emily's seven year old daughter. In any other context, this would be weird (if not criminal), though it's 'The Bachelorette' and Emily lapped it up. Sean finally out with the three big words - I love you - and they kissed for awhile. Everyone in the audience knew he was toast at this point, but that's fine. He'd make a great Bachelor and I'm sure most single women in America would appreciate that.
Next up - one-f-Jef. Fresh off their Utah hometown date, but Emily and Jef couldn't gush enough about each other in the voice-overs. And while I thought (note the past tense) he would finish a distant second behind Arie, Emily said something that was very interesting - "I feel like I can be myself around him." That's noteworthy. Because as we know, in all good relationships, we're not jumping off of sailboats and going to candelit dinners every night; we're asking our spouses to pick up more toilet paper at the store and wake up with the baby and use the damn broom for once! -- Whoops, got a little ahead of myself there -- But you have to be yourself in a healthy relationship - false eyelashes, island vacations, and room service aside. I think that Emily feels the most relaxed and comfortable around one-f, which makes me think he's gained some ground on the A-man.
Jef also asked a startlingly good question over dinner - "What are you like when Ricky Bobby is around?" God, this is a good question. I immediately flashed to myself, which if Scotty's not around, there's a 90% chance I'm pretty nice and follow most social graces. If the Bear is present, however, I'm a.) not looking at you b/c I'm watching my child, b.) likely correcting my child to take [that] out of his mouth, put [that] down, or get off of [that], and c.) probably fairly grumpy because while I'd like to be giving you my full attention, I can't because my child is screaming at me. So yeah, Emily-without-RB is very likely much different than Emily-with-RB. Points for astuteness, one-F. Nice job.
Interestingly, as noted earlier, Emily did not allow Sean to stay the night. He was forced to walk out, into the darkness, back to his villa. With Jef, Emily had the words on her lips when the kid beat her to the punch. He said it's not respectful to their families or RB, so let's not, m'kay? And Emily kind of pouted off camera, bemoaning that she wanted to turn him down, not the other way around. Ahh, one-F, I think you might win this thing after all! Between his voice-over gushing, smart questions, and constant ability to make her chase him, he has played this game remarkably well. Bravo, Jef! Just tell us what religion you are now so we can all stop guessing.
Arie's date was kind of a let down. They made out for like, hours, on a boat, and she didn't even offer him the key to the fantasy suite, saying she "didn't trust herself." Wow. Okay, so maybe they do more than stay up talking and watching movies? Don't tell me, don't tell me! ::covering my ears::
Anywho, Arie looked incredibly cute at the rose ceremony and I was happy to see him get a rose. One-f, of course, got one too. Sean was sent packing and Emily tried to console him, but the whole time I kept wondering a.) if her hair was fake and b.) why she dressed like a sparkly mermaid. Not a fan of that skirt. Or the dressy pony. But sweet Sean, who so desperately wants to find love, got sent home in the Rejection Limo/SUV/island vehicle. He looked sad, but I have no doubt this show will catapult him into great things. He seems like a genuinely nice guy.
So...the men tell all next week! And after that - the finale! Who's it going to be? Arie, the super kissable guy who took the lead on day 1, or is dark-horse-one-f going to make a surprise come-from-behind victory? Will Emily choose no one? How grumpy does Emily's dad look? And perhaps most pressing...does anyone ever actually eat their dinner on this show, or does it all go to waste?
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