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What I Learned From the Zombie Run

10/29/2012

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Editor's Note: The Las Vegas Zombie Run was held on Sunday, October 28th at Sunset Park in Las Vegas. The 5K course was flat and scenic but filled with zombies. As runners, we wore flag football-style belts with three flags attached. The whole idea of the run was to finish "alive" - i.e. with all of your flags (or at least one) in tact. If the zombies, who were littered the course, were able to grab your flags, you finished "dead."  My flags were gone by mile 1, but the rest of the run gave me a nice chance to reflect on my skills (or lack thereof) in the event of a real doomsday scenario.

Survival is a lonely number

Before the run, Brian had told me an old Native American adage that one of his clients relayed to him: if you and your friend are being chased by a bear, remember: you don't need to be faster than the bear. You just need to be faster than your friend.

Ouch. But...let's face it...kind of helpful.

I have to admit, this holds very true in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Every man and woman for themselves, right? As we stood at the starting line and watched zombies on the course rip flags from runners are they sprinted past, I found myself eying my friend and thinking, "All I need to do is give her one good push and I'm home free..."

Perhaps we all have a bit more Shane in us than we'd like to admit.

Loose Lips Sink Ships

And as we stood at the starting gate, I found myself looking at all of the other runners around me, all wearing belts and flags. If the idea was to finish alive, what was preventing me from yanking flags from other runners before the race even started? I could load up on extra flags, thereby ensuring my survival even before the zombie attack. I voiced my ideas out loud and some of the guys behind us laughed.

And then I felt someone rip off one of my flags.

I howled in outrage and immediately snatched it back. Everyone had a good laugh but it made me realize: if you want to survive, keep your plans to yourself. And run fast.

Pride Comes Before the Fall

Once the race finally started, we found ourselves ducking, weaving, and spinning out of the reach of the undead. They were not supposed to give chase, but the bike path was only so wide. With all of the runners going past, it made for a very congested path. There was quite a bit of zombie-runner-bottle necking. When I hit a half mile and realized I still had all my flags, my confidence soared. Instead of running off the path and out of the way of the zombies, the way any sensible person would do, I started tempting fate by running through them and around them. I'm faster than a bunch of zombies, right? Right? I mean, I'm awesome! Weeeee!

Wrong.

By mile 1, my arrogance caused my untimely "death" and I was left with zero flags on my belt. The zombies looked happy as a ran too close, not knowing I was making it so incredibly easy for them.  I realized that in the event of a real world situation, I would be more Carl than Rick. I would be the one who takes target practice at zombies stuck in the mud, only to have said zombie get unstuck and then attack our friend Dale.  After all, Carl's only job (for seasons 1 & 2) were to stay in the house. And what happened instead?
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Oh, Carl. Just stay in the house.
And with that, I have to say it was a great morning. Despite finishing dead, it was a fun way to get a little exercise and be out in the sunshine. Not to mention, it definitely puts you in the Halloween spirit.

Maybe next year I'll volunteer as a zombie.
1 Comment
Tiffany
10/29/2012 02:49:27 am

Hilarious Kim!! Did you get any pics? This sounds like so much fun :)

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