Here are just a few tips of what not to do if you ever run into two-time-Academy-Award-winning-actor Denzel Washington in Santa Monica on Labor Day at brunch:
-- do not run four and a half miles that morning and then forgot to eat for the next three hours. You will become distracted, unaware of your surroundings, and just generally "hangry." (hungry+angry = hangry)
-- do not borrow a stroller from a friend (an awesome stroller with big, sturdy tires) and then not strap your child in, as this will result in your child flinging himself out of said stroller as you attempt to descend several stairs. This is not the child's fault; I, too, would probably jump ship if my mother was trying to navigate stairs while hangry and there is no safety belt.
-- do not jump ahead in line because you are hangry and attempting to catch your sprinting toddler, thus pushing two nice men out of the way. The men were so nice, in fact, that they held the door open for one hangry mother who's child had just disappeared deep inside the bowels of the restaurant.
-- do not gawk, gape, leer, or otherwise stare blank-faced when your friend points out that the nice gentleman that held the door open for you is none other than two-time-Academy-Award-winning-actor Denzel Washington. He is literally standing less than two feet away and is probably judging your mothering skills. There is a good chance your child is fussing and you are throwing dried cranberries at him right now. There is much to judge.
-- and whatever you do, after you are seated at your own table and likely still staring at the very nice Mr. Washington, do not encourage your husband to go over to his table with the opening line of, "I'm kind of a Civil War buff myself."
Trust me. I know this from experience.
-- do not run four and a half miles that morning and then forgot to eat for the next three hours. You will become distracted, unaware of your surroundings, and just generally "hangry." (hungry+angry = hangry)
-- do not borrow a stroller from a friend (an awesome stroller with big, sturdy tires) and then not strap your child in, as this will result in your child flinging himself out of said stroller as you attempt to descend several stairs. This is not the child's fault; I, too, would probably jump ship if my mother was trying to navigate stairs while hangry and there is no safety belt.
-- do not jump ahead in line because you are hangry and attempting to catch your sprinting toddler, thus pushing two nice men out of the way. The men were so nice, in fact, that they held the door open for one hangry mother who's child had just disappeared deep inside the bowels of the restaurant.
-- do not gawk, gape, leer, or otherwise stare blank-faced when your friend points out that the nice gentleman that held the door open for you is none other than two-time-Academy-Award-winning-actor Denzel Washington. He is literally standing less than two feet away and is probably judging your mothering skills. There is a good chance your child is fussing and you are throwing dried cranberries at him right now. There is much to judge.
-- and whatever you do, after you are seated at your own table and likely still staring at the very nice Mr. Washington, do not encourage your husband to go over to his table with the opening line of, "I'm kind of a Civil War buff myself."
Trust me. I know this from experience.
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