As we all know, parenting is the toughest job on the planet. Going it solo, however, well...it's not for the feint of heart. Between the constant running around, the juggling of schedules, and the feeling it's all on your shoulders, single parents have a lot to deal with. When friends and relative offer well-meaning, though tired, comments, it kinda makes you want to pull your hair out. Or write a Facebook post about what should and should not be said.
Karin, my friend from college (and fellow English major), did just that. Earlier this week, she offered some insight into her life. As a single parent to two adorable boys, ages 5 and 9, I'd imagine she's run the gamut of "stupid comments" from good-intended folks. To save her from yet another head-desk moment, I thought I'd publish her list, since I found it incredibly helpful. So in the spirit of open communication, here a couple things single parents never want to hear...
1. "You don't have family in town? So you don't have any help here?"
The saying "it takes a village" is not limited to family. I have the best friends, neighbors, teachers and co-workers in the world and I am eternally grateful for their help, support and love.
2. "How do you do everything you do?!"
I manage my time at a level that's considered anal retentive. It can be annoying to others. But it works for us. Plus, as I said before, it doesn't all get done. Sometimes, if you come over unexpectedly, you will probably see a dog hair or a little dust. Get over it.
3. "I don't have time to <workout> <volunteer> <sleep> <insert thing here>"
Really? See #2. If it is a priority, you can find time, too. Promise.
4. "Wouldn't it be easier with someone to help?"
No.
Trust me. No.
Would it make me a better adult? Maybe. But easier? Hell no. I don't have to negotiate. I don't have to worry that someone doesn't eat spinach. I don't have more laundry to do or share the bathroom with another adult. And I'm cool with that.
5. "I'm a single parent this weekend!"
No, you aren't.
Unless you function on one income and are responsible, solely, for a minor's well-being the vast majority of the time, you are NOT a single parent. You are simply a parent who's significant other is not home for a few days. For what it is worth (and I know it isn't much), military spouses can say this all they want. People are trying to kill someone they love.
Karin, my friend from college (and fellow English major), did just that. Earlier this week, she offered some insight into her life. As a single parent to two adorable boys, ages 5 and 9, I'd imagine she's run the gamut of "stupid comments" from good-intended folks. To save her from yet another head-desk moment, I thought I'd publish her list, since I found it incredibly helpful. So in the spirit of open communication, here a couple things single parents never want to hear...
1. "You don't have family in town? So you don't have any help here?"
The saying "it takes a village" is not limited to family. I have the best friends, neighbors, teachers and co-workers in the world and I am eternally grateful for their help, support and love.
2. "How do you do everything you do?!"
I manage my time at a level that's considered anal retentive. It can be annoying to others. But it works for us. Plus, as I said before, it doesn't all get done. Sometimes, if you come over unexpectedly, you will probably see a dog hair or a little dust. Get over it.
3. "I don't have time to <workout> <volunteer> <sleep> <insert thing here>"
Really? See #2. If it is a priority, you can find time, too. Promise.
4. "Wouldn't it be easier with someone to help?"
No.
Trust me. No.
Would it make me a better adult? Maybe. But easier? Hell no. I don't have to negotiate. I don't have to worry that someone doesn't eat spinach. I don't have more laundry to do or share the bathroom with another adult. And I'm cool with that.
5. "I'm a single parent this weekend!"
No, you aren't.
Unless you function on one income and are responsible, solely, for a minor's well-being the vast majority of the time, you are NOT a single parent. You are simply a parent who's significant other is not home for a few days. For what it is worth (and I know it isn't much), military spouses can say this all they want. People are trying to kill someone they love.
RSS Feed