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What Not to Wear

9/15/2011

2 Comments

 
Editor's note: I wrote this entry on Tuesday morning, the day after this happened. The big birthday celebration of Wednesday will be chronicled in tomorrow's post. I would have written about it today, but I chose to sleep on the couch instead. Mmm, naptime.

Ever feel badly about your parenting abilities?

Pull up a seat. I'm about to make you feel a whole lot better.

On Monday night, Scotty and I decided to hit Town Square for a little shopping and dinner. Brian was working late, we had nothing else going on, and dining "a deux" seemed like the perfect activity for Mother and Bear. So I packed the kid up and we headed out after his afternoon nap.

We did a little browsing, a little shopping. I bought a shirt at the Gap ($11.20! I love a good deal). I considered buying this cute dress. I almost bought some new earrings. Scotty patiently pushed his stroller while I browsed. My game plan was to hit the park in the middle of the mall, grab a quick dinner out, and arrive home perfectly in time for the bath.

Except I forgot the water fountains were still on at the park...which made my carefully organized plan a complete and total mess. A sopping wet mess, actually.

See, Town Square has this great water area that is great for toddlers. All you have to do is hit a button, and water gushes up from the ground. It's great for when the temperature is hovering near 120 degrees and you are in your swimsuit.

I, however, did not pack a suit. Or a swim diaper.

But I really did not think it would matter. Our little Bear has been water-adverse for quite some time. Likewise, I thought the water was turned off at the park since the temp is now in the low 90s (a bona fide cold front for us desert dwellers.) 

Not so.

Instead, I sat on the bench at the park, unleashed the Bear (metaphorically-speaking) and watched a full-clothed Scotty run straight to the water like he was a little salmon. He was actually sticking his face into the spouts, allowing water to gush all over him, and squealing with joy. My friend (and fellow committee member) Leah just happened to be at the park,  and came strolling up with her son and husband. She took one look at me sitting motionless on the bench, and then a long look at Scotty and said, "What are you going to do about this?"

I just sat there. "Not sure," I said.

"Why didn't you take his clothes off before he got in the water?" she asked.

"Don't know." I said. My brain had kind of turned off at that point.

I mean, I had two options: cart around a nude baby or cart around a dripping wet baby. It wasn't warm enough to attempt to dry his clothes in the sun, and it wasn't warm enough to walk around sopping wet. Not to mention, I still had to stop at Whole Foods for a few items (namely, my favorite salad dressing that I can only find at Whole Foods), so we couldn't even make a mad dash to the car, wet and/or naked. 

So...I chose option #3:

After allowing him to splash to his heart's content, I pulled Scott from the water, attempted to dry him off with my hands, did an impromtu diaper change right there on the bench, and then swaddled him in my new Gap t-shirt.

Best $11.20 I've ever spent.


Picture
Born This Way Bear
When I told Brian the story, he wasn't especially pleased that our child is cross-dressing at the tender age of 2, but what's a mom to do?

Personally, I thought he looked rather handsome in my shirt. All he needed as a snakeskin leather cuff and maybe some feather earrings. He was like the Lafayette of toddlers. I half expected him to shake his wrist at me and crow, "Aw, snap!" as we drove along, but thankfully, he just pointed out all of the construction trucks on the side of the road.
2 Comments
Jill
9/15/2011 08:03:38 am

I enjoyed your story, but mostly want to know what your favorite dressing is! I'm in a dressing rut!

Reply
Kim
9/15/2011 08:27:11 am

Hahaha, Jill...you are so funny. It's called Organic Balsamic Viniagrette Salad Dressing (no company name) and is in the refrigerated section in the salad dressing aisle. I highly recommend pairing with crisp arugula and the Whole Foods rosemary croutons. Delish!

Reply



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