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You Know You Are a Mom When...

3/14/2013

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...you've touched another human being's fecal/vomit/mucus with your bare hands and it barely registered.

...you realized 85% of the pictures on your phone are of your child(ren)

...the idea of traveling solo makes you downright giddy. TSA ain't got nothin' on toddlers, teenagers and whatever lies in between.

...you know nothing brings a group of women together like a round of "When I was pregnant..."

...you've secretly, passionately, and momentarily hated your partner. This usually happens when he is sleeping (and you are not).

...you've briefly contemplated if, in fact, you are actually raising a serial killer.

...you've stopped judging other moms and instead started praying fervently, "Please don't let that happen to me, please don't let that happen to me..."

...you've accidentally shouted, "Damn! I was HOT!" upon seeing a picture of yourself pre-kids.

...despite the fact your child isn't even with you, you still feel a little guilty pushing the elevator buttons.

and the #1 way you know you are a mom...

...when you start measuring time not by your age, but by the age(s) of your child(ren).

Big thanks to everyone who weighed in on yesterday's post, "Constant Correction." Your comments inspired this list, as I had no idea most of us loathed the Three's and worried about the homicidal tendencies of our toddlers. Thanks for making me feel more normal. Whether the solution is found in sticker charts, support groups, or at the bottom of an empty bottle of wine, I appreciate all of the touching and honest comments. Keep on fighting the good fight, Moms.
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