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Book Review! "Secrets of an Organized Mom" by Barbara Reich

2/25/2013

1 Comment

 
A few weeks ago, I was asked if I would like to review an advanced copy of "Secrets of an Organized Mom." Without knowing anything except the title, my reaction was an immediate and enthusiastic "YES!" Yes, yes, hell yes! Because if there is one thing I've learned over the last few years, being organized is hard and being a mom is hard. If there was someone out there who had figured out how to manage Matchbox cars and purge Play-doh, well, I'm all ears. Coincidentally, the request also came during the big closet re-do project. I realized that more than ever, I needed professional advice before we ever hung a shelf or bought a container. And that's what Barbara provided.

Easy to understand, humorous, and a quick read (all necessary to us moms - gotta keep our attention because STOP HARASSING THE CAT, SCOTT!, we juggle many things), Barbara managed to convince me that 1.) I was capable of an organized home and 2.) she was the lady to help me do it. She works from a four-step method of purge, design, organize, and maintain. Not exactly ground-breaking, as we have all watched enough episodes of "Hoarders" to know the drill, but when it's spelled out in black and white, it suddenly seems more attainable. She also offers mantras that again, I kinda knew, but seeing it in print brought it home. Do your least appealing task first. Focus on what you can change.
Go digital. Buy hangers all of the same color. Basic, smart, sound advice.

What's really special about this book, however, is that she breaks down organization for every room in the house. Every. Single. Room. To me, a Type-A person who appreciates attention to detail, this was a dream. What exactly am I supposed to do with products in the bathroom that just clutter the counters? Why does my desk look like a burial mound for receipts, junk mail, and bills?  Regardless of what your "hot spot" area is - living room, laundry room, home office, or giant closet under the stairs currently housing 3,000 construction vehicles and six tubes of dried finger paint - Barbara provides step-by-step direction that is both practical and effective.  She even includes an entire chapter on how to organize your baby's nursery or how to design the nursery to maximize efficiency and space. Definitely a must-read for all new moms or moms-to-be.

Ever the researcher, I decided to take a chapter of her book and apply to it. The closet redesign was successful and I used a million of her ideas (don't store things on the floor. Buy containers that match or compliment each other. Group like objects together [i.e. lunch supplies]), but that was a big project that involved paint, contractors and major supplies, and was not necessarily applicable or practical to the mom who just wants to feel more organized without breaking out the ruler and graph paper or checkbook. My target? The junk drawer by the computer doesn't even open anymore. While I don't lose sleep over it at night, it bugs me. Does it affect my mental health? Not really. But it's a waste of space and lord knows what is living in there. And it bugs me. Have I mentioned that it's very existence bugs me?

It bugs me.

So using her four-step system, I cleaned and sorted the drawer within 20 minutes. TWENTY MINUTES! This drawer has been a disaster for over a year, and a mere twenty minutes later, I can finally cross this one off of my to-do list. I purged out-of-date coupons, McDonald Monopoly game pieces, crumpled paper, used up Chapstick, random string and more random string. (why do we own so much string?) I didn't need to design the space as there was not much room, though space dividers probably could have been useful (and decorative). After sorting everything into piles, I put the warranty manual to the slow cooker in my pile of cookbooks, took all of Scotty's stuff upstairs, and made a little baggie of screws, keys, 3M wall hanging supplies. Then I put the correct items back in the drawer and organized them. Who knew we had two bottles cleaning spray for iProducts? And my label maker! He's back! Hooray! I had been looking for that little guy for months now. I wrapped up some cords and placed them back in the drawer, and viola! Project done. In twenty simple minutes.

Now I just need to maintain it.
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Good-bye junk drawer, hello computer/office supplies and Boogie Wipes.
So, thank you Barbara for providing excellent guidance. Honestly, I cannot wait to tackle other areas of my home. This has given me a whole new excitement for spring cleaning, which, let's face it, is the least exciting thing in the world.

Happy organizing, folks!

"Secrets of an Organized Mom" officially launches tomorrow, February 26, and is available in all major book stores, including Barnes & Noble and Amazon. An ebook version is also available on iTunes and Barnes & Noble. You can find more information, as well as a full list of retailers, at www.SecretsofanOrganizedMom.com. Big thanks to Julie at Hopscotch Communications for putting this on my radar!
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Book Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

5/8/2012

3 Comments

 
Or as I like to call it, "Fifty Shades of Stupidity."

I'm sorry, hate me if you must, but I am not a fan. I tried - really, I did - to find a redeeming quality to this book. And I'll be the first to admit it, I am not done with the book. I've been reading it off and on for the past six weeks and given it a solid 427 pages (out of 657) to get someplace. Maybe I'm dead wrong and the book suddenly picks up speed in the last two hundred or so pages, and if that's the case, please feel free to tell me that and I'll finish. But I have this sinking suspicion that it doesn't and I'm just going to waste more time. And I hate wasting time.

The only analogy I can draw for the book is that it's kind of like trying a new casserole - you're not really a big fan of casseroles to begin with, but everyone's talking about this new recipe. So you give it a go. It has some weird ingredients in it, but you tend to trust the masses, so you plow ahead. It looks a little weird, and the first bite tastes strange. You give it another chance. And then another. And then, by bite #3, you realize: this is really bad.

I'm currently on bite #3.

In the event you don't know what the book is about, let me give you a brief (hopefully un-biased) synopsis: the author, E.L. James, imagines what it would be like if "Twilight's" Bella and Edward had met as adults - and no one was a vampire. Set in the pacific northwest, just like Twilight, Christian Grey (aka Edward) is a 27-year old dashingly handsome self-made billionaire who runs a massive corporation. He's smart, intelligent, and controlling (by his own admission). Enter Anastasia "Ana" Steele, a virginal 21-year old recent college grad with smooth skin and a simple naivete about her. She and Christian have a chance meeting, and sparks fly. Ana seems to always be in some kind of danger, and Christian, her night in shining armor, manages to find the time to save her from whatever peril has befallen her: drunk college guys, a old beater of a car, the job market, etc.

Okay, sounds pretty normal so far, right? Sounds like your standard romance novel. As I said to friends yesterday, I'm not a fan of the "He's a pirate/I'm a maiden/my corset shows my heaving bosoms/help me!" but that's cool - a lot of people do like romance novels, and who am I to fault them? It's not my genre, but that's cool.

But then it gets weird. My exact reaction? "Okay, okay, okay...okay, no, whoa! Whoa! WHOA! Holy Jesus my eyeballs are bleeding!"

Because as you find out (SPOILER ALERT), Christian has a certain, um, propensity for, ah, types of, well, kinky sex. (Mom, please stop reading). Specifically, bondage, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism (BDSM).

(Yes, I had to look that up. And yes, now my computer has been flagged.)

Regardless of what government watch-groups I am now on my Google searches Christian essentially wants Ana to be his Submissive, and he her Dominant. Like, to the point that there is a contract - an actual, written contract involved. That outlines what is and not okay in their "relationship." Things that 1.) I didn't know existed and 2.) I cannot bring myself to type in my sweet little PG-rated blog. Just use your imagination. Aside from the crazy stuff, she must refer to him as "Sir," she cannot show disrespect (like rolling her eyes), she cannot touch him, look him in the eyes, and she must do whatever he says when in his company (every weekend for the next three months). Oh, and she must not say a word about this to anyone. And if Ana doesn't adhere to the "rules" set forth by Christian? She gets punished. As in spanked, hit, slapped, or paddled.

Call me crazy, but this sounds like an abusive relationship. Oh wait, it's BDSM. And there is a contract involved. Never mind.

Anyways, according to him, this whole arrangement is consensual and she can opt out at any time (yay for contracts!). The upside to their "relationship?" A clothing allowance, a new car, flying around in Charlie Tango, lots of spa days.

Now this sounds like prostitution.

Eek, there goes my opinion again. Must. Remain. Unbiased.

I don't know how the novel ends - maybe he goes to therapy? Maybe she walks away? Or - this is what I'm guessing - her love "changes" him and helps him to unlock the reason why he is like this (cue the abusive childhood narrative), thus making him a better man. (cue the violins)

Regardless of the ending (and please, tell me if I'm way off base or something), my biggest issue with the book isn't the incredibly graphic sex scenes or terrible writing - it's the violence against women. It's the power difference that exists between this 20-something female and an older, rich man. It's the fact that women are already one-down in society and books like this simply perpetuate - and glamorize - misogyny.

But, you argue, they are engaged in a consensual BDSM relationship. She can walk away anytime she pleases. This is not your textbook abusive relationship but simple exploration into sexual fetishes practiced by a percentage of the population. In fact, you state, this is the very definition of feminism - individual freedoms to express herself and practice beliefs, whatever they may be. There is no known connection between BDSM and sex crimes, so step off your soapbox, Kim.

(I'm really trying hard to see both sides of the argument)

And to your argument, I would say: you are right. But this is my thing: I'm guessing you are NOT part of the percentage of people who practice BDSM, and this is not an argument about the right or wrongness of BDSM. For me, this book is simply not entertaining. And it's insulting. The part where he punishes her - and she is surprised that she enjoys it - makes me worry that some guy out there is reading this, thinking, "Yeah, that's cool! I can do that too! When I hit my girlfriend, she's going to get turned on!" without understanding the subculture or inaccuracy behind that scene.  It's troubling, to say the least.

And don't even get me started on the media's sensational coining of the term "mommy porn." I know, we house-wives are just so darn bored that we need stimulation and a fantasy world with playboy billionaires with kinky sex practices to escape. Um, no. I'm too busy with actual, real concerns - childcare being first on that list. And making sure my child never grows up to become a Christian Grey.

Sorry to be all Debbie Downer about this book, as I know a great many people like it. But I feel like it is insulting to women, insulting to me, and a dangerous example for others that maybe don't have the best moral filter. I'm not advocating censorship nor am I advocating against BDSM, but E.L James takes a man that was abused in childhood, brought into his own BDSM relationship at the age of 15, and tries to turn him into a prince, through the naive eyes of a young woman with no additional sexual experience. The whole thing just falls flat. It's insipid, juvenile, and the characters are one-dimensional.

::yawn::

Thanks, but no thanks.

Grade: F

3 Comments

No Whining

9/9/2011

2 Comments

 
A strange thing is going on today...

...I'm not quite sure what to write about.

I thought about posting pics from the (many) birthday parties in August, but with 9/11 on Sunday, it just doesn't seem right. I thought about talking about the Category 5 Tantrum that Scotty had this morning while at a craft show, complete with kicking, hitting, and screaming, but I really don't want to. (I'm still exhausted from dragging the little Bear out by his hand while suffering the many, many looks of disapproval from the older women in attendance. It was a like a Critical Grandmother Convention).

So while I tend to my physical wounds from this morning, I thought I'd share some interesting ideas I heard on the Today Show from earlier this week.

Thomas Friedman, the columnist for the New York Times, recently came out with a new book with co-author Michael Mandelbaum titled, "That Used to Be Us." The title is taken from one of President Obama's speeches in which he was commenting on the fact that China now has the fastest super computer in the world, and Singapore's infrastructure is now superior to the United States. "That used to be us," he said, and I think it echoes with familiarity to all of us. We used to be the leader. We were top of the heap. Big Dawg.

What happened?

I have not bought the book (yet), but Friedman and Mandelbaum go on to describe the five tenets that make a country a superpower - the same five pillars that this country was founded on. Things like excellent transportation systems and government-funded research. Education for everyone to the highest level attainable. That kind of thing. And then, in Friedman's interview with Ann Curry, he went on to talk about sustainable values (lifelong, inherent, and applicable regardless of time and position) versus situational values (flexible, fluid, and only applied when necessary). Due to the rise in situational values, we've seen this country make bad decision after bad decision (adjustable rate mortgages, anyone?), leaving us saying, "...that used to be us." 

This caught my attention because the sustainable values are ones that I'd like to aspire to, and ones that I believe others can as well. So I want to share them with you, and let me know what you think. I feel as though it is good food-for-thought on the 9/11 weekend. Happy Friday, everyone.

1.) Think like an immigrant.

It's a new world out there - you need to learn, listen, and expect adversity. Adversity is not a bad thing; it will help you grow. But expect hard times while working toward the good ones.

2.) Nothing is owed to you; you need to work for it.

I LOVE THIS ONE.

This makes me think about marathon training. No one is going to just give me stuff -- it's my job to work for it. Miles are not going to run themselves. My legs aren't going to suddenly develop muscles overnight. If I want to run and finish a half (or maybe full, one day) marathon, it's up to me and me alone to train. If I skip a training day, the only person who suffers is, well, me. And that kind of sucks, so I'm not skipping any days.

3.) Think like an artisan: create, craft, develop and master.

This makes me think about Junior League. There is literally SO much going on in the organization, and so many places to make a real impact. So far, the reception for the Sage has been really positive. I feel as though my committee managed to take what was a tedious, time-intensive task and re-frame it into a much more positive, productive light, and something with real value. We had - and still have - the ability to really develop and produce a fantastic piece of literature for members and donors alike. The first issue is done; three to go. And I hope the each one continues to top the previous.

(and no, I did not get arrested at the post office on Wednesday, but I did make some new friends and learn a lot. I am also instituting the first ever JLLV "Bulk Mailing Training Program" to avoid bulk-mailing snafus in the future.)

4.) Bring something extra to the table; carve your initials in your work and be proud of it.

This is something that is definitely a sustainable value. Whether it's marathon training, Junior League, or just making dinner, I really do want to bring something extra to the table. It makes me think about my committee member Jessica, who hand-delivered the final copy of the Sage to my door at 9:30 at night. She didn't have to; she did it because she wanted to and she had pride in her work. These kinds of values have deep roots, and I just know Jess is (and continue to be) a total super star.

5.) Average is not good enough.

Now having been a new member in several different groups, it's fascinating to watch group dynamics. I think about the runners on Hill Day and how people tackle the (insanely hard) work-out. The go-getters take on the hills without so much as a peep, and the rest sit there and guffaw and moan. Part of me (having been in the guffawing group more times than I can count) thinks I'm spending more energy whining about the run, than actually running up the hill. I'm trying to stay focused on the idea that just getting up the hill is not good enough; I need to do it better than I did last time. I don't care what the guy next to me is doing; I'm only concentrating on my performance, and improving on that. And you know what? Hill Day is becoming something I enjoy, mainly because I'm getting better at it (slowly). With achievement comes self-confidence and worth. And if I can tackle hills at 6am, who says I can't tackle (metaphorically-speaking) a Category 5 Tantrum Bear?

Just please, no whining.
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Baby Talk

3/10/2010

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I'd always heard that having a baby changes a relationship, but I really had no idea just how much.

Aside from the fact that nearly all of our attention is fixated on our little bundle of joy, Brian's and my communication is clearly in need of help. I find this so interesting since pre-kids, we were seriously the model of How to Communicate Effectively with Your Partner. No really, look it up in the dictionary; you'll find our pictures.

I'm not trying to brag here, but if you put a therapist and a litigator in the same room, you're going to get some stuff accomplished. I handled the emotional direction of the conversation and Brian would skillfully navigate through complex logical issues. One thing I was so proud of between the two of us is that we, given a certain amount of time, could pretty much resolve any issue. And resolve it well. Differences aside, I would say we were on the same page about 90% of the time. And when we weren't discussing something, we were able to pick up on the other person's idea fairly quickly and run with it.

(And, just in case you are not familiar with studies that look for factors that contribute to successful marriage (and the work of John Gottman), please know that it's really the degree of resolution between a couple that predicts future happiness, not the number of conflicts between the two. Does that make sense? So if a couple has one big blow-out a year but get no resolution to the problem [i.e. they both walk away still mad, resentful, and like the other person did not hear them], they are much more at risk for future unhappiness than the couple that argues weekly but argues with a purpose (i.e. finding a solution to the problem) and both parties walk away feeling as though the problem has been resolved.)

(Look, you just learned something today.)

Anyways, so as I was saying, I would be lying if I didn't say that communication has seriously changed in our relationship.  But what I think is so funny is that it changed not in the way I expected, at all. I mean, yes, we don't nearly have time for a 3+ hour discussion on a problem like we did pre-Scotty. And yes, we are more tired and more cranky (um...me), but aside from working through differences, it's actually the content of our communication pattern that has changed, regardless of if we are in an argument or just talking through our day. It's Not that we are arguing or disagreeing more, it's that we just simply communicate on a whole different level now.

Let me give you an example.

The night we went to Joel Robuchon, there was a lull in the conversation. Just a normal dip. The waiter had just set our newest course in front of us. We had both taken a bite. And then, out of nowhere and without thinking, I blew a raspberry at Brian.

In the middle of Joel Robuchon.

I think we were both surprised.

And so was the waiter. And so was the snooty french couple sitting next to us, who made faces and turned in the other direction.

Unfazed, I just kind of shrugged and said, "Sorry...we have a baby at home."

And I'm not the only one guilty of regressing to baby behavior, either. That same night, as we were waiting for the valet, Brian was rubbing my back. Well, at least I thought he was. But then I realized he would make a circle...another circle...and then two hard pats.

After this happened twice, I finally looked up at him and asked, "Are you trying to burp me?"  He shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry," he said. "Habit."

See? This is what I'm talking about. Hang out with a six-month old and you will revert back to baby behaviors. Or you get so used to caring for the baby that you can't control when your parenting skills will rear their ugly heads. Like, in the middle of Joel Robuchon when you blow a raspberry at your partner.

Also, reading too many board books does weird things to your head. Brian and I will be out together, sans baby, and one of us will point to a bird and say, "Bird. Bird. Say it with me...BIRD." Or "Truck." Or "Tiger."

Lion. Penguin. Fish. (clearly, we've been working on animals recently).

We'll be sitting on the touch and Brian will point to my foot. "Toe," he'll say slowly. "Good boy," I tell him. "You're such a good boy." He grins.

One of our favorite series of books is the 'That's Not My..." series. They are books that you can touch while reading, and it's like, "That's not my dinosaur! His teeth are too bumpy. [touch the bumpy teeth.] That's not my dinosaur! His flippers are too slippery [touch the slippery fins]," etc. You get the drift. Well, recently I found the "That's not my train!" book and Brian and I love reading it to Scotty. (And yes, all of the books end happily with the reader finding their train/dinosaur/monkey/what have you).

So the other morning, I was playing with Scott on the rug when I noticed Brian emptying in the dishwasher. Before I could even think, I blurted out, "That's not my husband! He's doing some chores!" Brian scowled but we both giggled a little. 

Sadly, this change in communication is not limited to just between Brian and I, nor is it limited to verbal communication. A few weeks ago, a friend and I went out for drinks and dessert, sans children. When the waitress came to check on our table, she asked if we were done with our mountain of chocolate lava. I held up both hands and shook them. "All done," I told her, waving my hands. "All done."

So, it's clear that board books, burping, raspberries, and baby sign language definitely will bend one's brain. Take, for example, a recent phone call between Brian and I.

B: [picks up phone] Hello?
K: Hi sweetie. Bad news. We lost Spot.
B: What? Are you serious?
K: Yes. We can't find him anywhere. He didn't eat his supper.
B: Well, is he behind the door?
K: No...
B: Is he inside the clock?
K:  No....
B:  Is he in the piano?
K:  No...
B: Is he under the stairs?
K: No...
B:  Is he in the closet?
K:  No...
B:  Is he under the bed?
K:  No...
B:  Is he in the box?
K:  No...Oh, wait! I think I see him. He's under the rug.
B:  [waits patiently]
K:  He's in the basket!
B: Good boy, Spot. Good boy. 

Is it date night yet?

::sigh::

(and thank you to all of the authors I shameless quoted in this blog. They include: Eric Hill, Fiona Watt, and Rachel Wells. Please don't sue me.)
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Book Reviews! Book Reviews!

1/19/2010

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I have books to review! Really, truly! The blog will live up to its name, finally! It only took about five months to get back on track.

The books, however, are not yet read....give me about a week or two. Scotty and I hit our local Borders today, and my cart screamed, "New mom, mid-life crisis, and just a little curious." It contained:

"Committed" by Elizabeth Gilbert, famed author of one of my favorite books of all time, "Eat, Pray, Love." I like to call it literary Xanax.

"Nuture Shock" by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. An in-depth look at cultural truths that may or may not be valid. Subjects covered: praise = higher self-esteem; aggressive kids, acquisition of language (a personal pet subject that I adore), and lying in children.

"The Tipping Point," by Malcolm Gladwell. Again, I am a curious looky-loo...I love a good book that delves into analysis of cultural phenomenons. (I read 'Outliers' in December 2008 and highly recommend it.) I don't really always care about the what...but I sure love a good story about the how.

And then I bought a bunch of board books for the Bear.

So, YAY! I am super excited about my purchases. I love good research sandwiched between a compelling story (thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert) and just some delicious, hearty research stats. If we lived in a more academic town, I would totally be one of those mothers that offered her child to Psychology experiments (not the scary ones, but the safe ones). Give me a two-way mirror any day and I'm happy as a clam.

And yes, I saw the Bachelor last night but am still mentally composing my review. I will say this: I was about to give up on the show after Jake turned into a complete and total baby during the bungee jump. Seriously, dude? My five-month old baby just did the same thing (crying, burying his head in my neck) when I tried to put him to bed. I really don't want to watch a 30-something pilot turn into a whimpering bag of jelly. But then he totally redeemed himself by calling Elizabeth out on her game playing (woot!) and then KICKING her off of the show (!!). You go, Jake! That took some major cajones. And thus, I am addicted again.

Reviews coming soon! So excited! Maybe I won't blather on about Motherhood for the rest of eternity and will regain some semblance of normalcy in the near future...

(and finally, not a post about breast milk!)
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Friday Musings (and no moment of Zen)

11/20/2009

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No pictures today...the battery of my camera died! I guess I've been snapping too many pics these days and it decided to go caput on me. It is currently on the charger and should be ready for tonight. We are going to a botanical cacti garden, decked out in 1/2 million Christmas light. If that didn't sound fun enough, it's right next to a chocolate factory! I'm not joking. Cacti, chocolate, and Christmas lights...does life get any better?

It's so funny to think that a year ago I would have never been interested in this kind of outing, especially on a Friday night. I've never been a huge chocolate fan, Christmas before Thanksgiving was just wrong in my book, and there is no way in hell I could have dragged Brian with me to a cacti garden. But now, with the little Bear in tow, we are both insanely excited. I can't wait to see Scotty's face when he sees all of the Christmas lights - it should be magical. And a good photo op! (c'mon, battery charger...) Brian is equally excited and we are both hoping the little Bear behaves himself. We'll do anything to see him smile.

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In other news, it seems like it is raining babies these days. Several college friends recently had kids this week (big congrats to Sarah and Little K!), so I've been glued to Facebook for updates. I know most sororities get a bad rap, but I really loved my experience. I also love how we've all re-connected via Facebook. Despite the over 10 year gap between living in the house and now, it's like no time has passed.

I also love how everyone from the house comments on each other's posts. There is no need for formalities -- it's just as conversational as if we were standing in line for dinner or walking to class together. But instead of trying to figure out why Charlene put bacon on the salad or sneaking out of dinner to watch 'The Simpsons' in the rec room, we're talking about labor, delivery, and breastfeeding. I still think of people as "the Seniors" and "the Sophomores" (which I guess makes me a Junior). Brian, of course, thinks I'm absolutely crazy but he just doesn't get it. He thinks all I did in college was host Rush parties and paint banners. He's only 50% correct. (and for the record, I graduated in four years with a double major AND I managed to study overseas. So there.)

With the recent boom of baby Gams, I would LOVE to host a reunion of everyone (not just my pledge class) and catch up with everyone. Kind of a pipe dream (especially as these babies keep coming! Do we all have fantastic husbands that would watch the kids while their wives left for the weekend? Is that too much to expect?)  but it's fun to think about.  So ladies, let me know what you think .Maybe Vegas in 2010? 2011?  Don't make me start singing...('A and an L and a PHA...G and an A and an MMA...") Several of us tried to get together earlier this year in Chicago but bed rest had me grounded and I had to cancel the whole trip. Such a bummer.

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Aside from missing my days at 1409 N. Main, everything else has been darn near copacetic. Scotty is over his fussiness (I had a three-day fear that maybe we started teething...eeeeeeek) from earlier this week and is back to napping like a champ. He is just so silly. He literally wakes up smiling. I peer into his crib in the morning and am greeted with this happy, sunny baby. How did we get so lucky? He is also coo-ing and goo-ing like a champ, which makes me think we're going to have a talker on our hands one day. As my mom once told me, "You can't wait for the day that they start talking...and then you realize that they never shut up." Hahaha. Sorry, Mom.

Contrary to popular belief, I will not be going to see the new 'Twilight' movie this weekend. I have a fairly substantial fear of tweens. Not to mention, it looks downright terrible. Let's be honest here folks; Stephanie Meyer isn't exactly Shakespear. But the books were a good read (I devoured all four in about three days) and I just can't believe what a part of pop culture they have become. I caught an interview with the cast members on some obscure DirectTV channel and had a hard time keeping a straight face. The interviewer was acting as if Rob P and Kristen S were master thespians and the material they were working from was groundbreaking. "Tell me Kristen, as you were in the scene when Edward leaves, what emotion did you draw from in order to make it so realistic?" Um.....yeah. She had a hard time keeping a straight face, too. The two look like they mope throughout the whole movie and critics have confirmed the whole move is pretty emo. But Edward Cullen (the idea of him, not Rob P) is one of the most memorable fictional characters of recent years, in my opinion, and yes, I will probably cough up $7.75 at some point to see the film. Matinee-worthy, however. Definitely not Friday-night-worthy.

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That's about it here. I'm off to clean out our sock drawer (I'm so not kidding...really, the fun never stops here.) I hope everyone has a great weekend!
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Book Review: "The Likeness," by Tana French

7/28/2009

1 Comment

 
Okay, I admit it; this is the book that kept me from paying serious attention to the Bachelorette Finale. And can you blame me? As Jillian/Kiptyn/Ed droned on about love and longing, I had 466 pages that captured their sentiments far better and more articulately than those three ever could.

Which goes to say, "The Likeness" is not a romance - or even romantic - novel. Ha - not even close. Unless you count dead college students romantic (and if you do, well, that makes you weird). "The Likeness" is Tana French's second go with Detectives Cassie Maddox and Rob Ryan on Dublin's Murder Squad. Set six months after "In the Woods" ended, this story is from Cassie's point of view. If you read "In the Woods," you've probably come to know and like Cassie; she's a scrappy, tough, and extremely likable woman with a good head on her shoulders and the courage to match. In short, the exact opposite of Emily Giffin's and Sophie Kinsella's normal bubblep-headed, shoe-obsessed protagonists.

Cassie finds herself drawn into a mystery of mind-numbing proportions. Her former handler in the Undercover department, Frank Mackey, brings her onto a case of a person who never existed: Lexie Madison, her old alias. Cassie's Lexie was invented in Frank's office several years ago when Cassie infiltrated a known drug ring at Trinity College. But that Lexie was stabbed several years ago and Cassie resumed her normal identity. But one bright Irish morning yields a dead woman in a cottage who not only bears a striking resemblance to Cassie but also holds carries a Trinity College ID with the name Lexie Madison. While Lexie might never have existed, the dead body is certainly real enough.

Frank then suggests the impossible; in order to catch the killer, he encourages Cassie to resume her former identity. By telling Lexie's roommates that she was merely wounded, not killed, Cassie must learn all of Lexie's quirks and interests to pull off this stunt. 

This novel, similar to the last, is more of a study in character development than a true 'Gotcha!' murder mystery. Without giving too much away, the most shocking part of the book is that Cassie-turned-Lexie finds a home for the first time; orphaned at the age of five, Cassie has never understood what it's like to be surrounded by loving people. With her roommates at Whitethorn House, she finds the draw of family more enticing than her adrenaline-laced job with the Irish garda (the Garda is the police force, for you non-Irish speaking folks out there). The line between reality and fiction starts to blur, and Cassie runs the risk of seriously loosing her professional objectivity.

**SPOILERS AHEAD. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK OR SKIP THE NEXT TWO PARAGRAPHS**

Now you know the basics of the book, it's impossible to talk about this novel without referencing (and spoiling) plot aspects of "In the Woods." We know whatever love/camaraderie happened between Cassie and Rob died at the end of the first book, but in "The Likeness," you find out more. Sam is the head detective from Murder assigned to Lexie's case, and also Cassie's boyfriend, but he must watch as Cassie and Frank weave more lie after another, possibly jeopardizing his relationship with her. And Cassie seemed okay letting it happen. I personally was dying to find out what happened between Cassie and Rob and seriously had my fingers crossed for the entire book that she would ditch boring Galway Sam for psychologically-traumatized but dashingly-handsome Rob.

This book also had me wondering if I'm more of a romantic than I realized. While I love a good mystery, I will admit, I was far more interested in the Cassie-Rob-Sam dynamic than I was in Lexie Madison and the Whitethorn group. Rob is only mentioned by name in the book, never making an appearance, and the mystery between the failed relationship (I mean, besides the fact Rob freaked out completely and acted like a complete idiot) is revealed in two small paragraphs embedded in the novel's ending. Those two paragraphs had me bawling - literally, sobbing - at 1:30am while sitting in the baby's nursery. (I really wanted to finish the novel last night, and Brian had to go to bed. Sitting in the glider in the nursery seemed like a good option at that point, even though I had no idea what I was in for.) And with those two paragraphs, it all made sense. I cannot say enough about a writer who cleverly tucks the most powerful of plot lines in the most unlikely of places. And you know what? Now I'm totally Team Cassie. And I hope she and Sam are very happy together in the future. Rob can sit and rot for all I care. (how is THAT for change in attitude?)

**SPOILERS OVER. CONTINUE READING**

Tana French really needs some major publicity, Oprah-style. I would love to see either novel made into movie-form, though the lovely narrative quality that is so appealing about both books would clearly be lost. If I had to choose, I would say I enjoyed "In the Woods" more than "The Likeness," but both are excellent reads. French doesn't treat the reader like an idiot (thank you!) and she is more the comfortable leaving loose ends by the novel's completion. While this may bother some readers, I love it. I think it just opens the door for further stories involving this group of characters.

Also, allegedly, word on the street is that the third book is from Frank Mackey's point of view, which should be hilarious and fascinating. As Cassie's boss, he had the charming, slippery quality that makes you love him and hate him at the same time. I can only imagine the trouble he'll get into.

Grade:  A
1 Comment

Book Review: "Baby Proof" by Emily Giffin

7/23/2009

7 Comments

 

I struggled to find something positive to say about this book for several hours this morning...I thought, and thought, and thought...and all I can come up with is this:

The book jacket is a very lovely shade of butter yellow.

That's it. That's all I've got.

And sadly, as we all know, authors usually have very little to do with marketing or cover design, which means Emily Giffin contributed absolutely nothing to the one redeeming aspect of this book.

I'm not even going to try to avoid spoilers in this review; I'm giving it a 'D' - a very solid D - so if you still want to read this horrific piece of literature (and I'm using the term 'literature' very loosely here), it's probably best to stop reading this review now. You've been warned.

Okay, "Baby Proof"...where do I start? It's the story about Claudia Parr, a trendy Manhattan-ite book editor who finds her "soul mate" (strike one) in Ben Davenport, another trendy Manhattan-ite who shares her believe in a child-free life. The two meet, date, and marry within a span of seven months, and all seems well for this up-and-coming twosome. Well, okay until Ben changes his mind and decides he wants kids after all. Claudia, who clearly lacks any kind of negotiating/mediating skills (or heck, just any basic communication skill or logic), disagrees with her husband and promptly divorces him. Like, within the span of twenty pages (and from what I can glean, about 7-8 months of real time). She gets the best divorce attorney in all of Manhattan and promptly leaves her "soul mate" in the dust, determined to continue leading her child-free existence without any guilt or shame.

Before anyone gets mad at me, I'm not knocking this book because it's about a woman who wants to lead a child-free life. Not at all. In fact, I give major credit to women who realize what they want and aren't afraid to go after it (and buck some of society's expectations in the process.) Making the decision to bring another person into this world is probably the biggest decision a person/couple can make, and should not be taken lightly. Brian and I talked about it at length (i.e. months and months), with concerns about over-taxing our already taxed planet (me), bringing a child into this chaotic, unrelenting, unforgiving world (me), and the financial obligations a child would bring (him). Like I said, it's huge decision and for those that opt out, kudos to you. There is no shame in that decision.

However, for Claudia, her reasons included not being able to sleep in and not be able to take spontaneous vacations. Um, okay. I can still dig that. No juddgement. No, my absolute disgust of this novel comes when she makes quick decisions without thinking of the outcomes (i.e. the divorce), her lack of sympathy for her sister who actually does want kids but is unable to (strike two), and her relief - yes, relief - when her best friend miscarries a child she desperately wanted (strike three, four, five to one million infinity).

Why was she relieved, you ask? Because her friend, the friend Claudia had been staying with since the divorce, was sleeping with a married man. And despite her friend's amazing wealth, kick-ass Manhattan stock broker job, and complete acceptance of becoming a single mother, little Claudia didn't want a baby to interfere with their friendship.  After all, babies change everything.

I'm not sure if Emily Giffin set out to make Claudia one of the most dis-likable characters in modern literature (only a close second to Lord Voldemort), but she succeeded. There is nothing redeemable about Claudia and her self-serving, self-centered attitude. If Ms. Giffin intended Claudia to be a sympathetic character or heroine, well, she has a very twisted view on life. Again, I fear for the generation of readers who pick up this book and think this kind of behavior is not only acceptable, but 'cool.'

I also want to comment on the entire lack of originality of these books (by "these," I'm talking about the trifecta of chick lit authors - Laura Weisenberg, Sophie Kinsella, and Giffin). All of their characters are pretty and stylish. Most have kick-ass jobs in big cities like Manhattan, LA, or London. All have great families that live outside said city that offer great support and thoughtful advice. Chick lit, in my opinion, marginalizes women and creates this false level of expectation. If you aren't carrying the right bag with the right shoes, clearly your self-worth is suffering. Also, I want to point out: you know there is a problem when the movie ("Devil Wears Prada") is better than the book. Can't we, as readers, demand material that does not fixate on clothing and trendy Manhattan locations but instead thoughtful character interaction and thematic originality?

Anyways, Claudia engages in all kinds of anti-baby behavior, including getting involved in an office romance with a chronic bachelor. She eventually comes to see the err in her ways (what? I didn't see THAT coming!) and miraculously, she and Ben reconcile in the end. Big whoop. And, in true chick lit form, Ms. Giffin gift wraps the ending and hands it to readers with a big bow on top: the best friend ends up happy and with the right guy and the sister finally gets the baby she has wanted for so long. Perfect, perfect, perfect. And a total slap in the in the face to most (intelligent) readers.

Vomit.

This book offered no additional knowledge in my life prior to its completion. I am no smarter for reading it. It offered no additional insight, thought, or meaning in my life. In fact, it just made me angry.

And (since I seem to be on a roll right now), let's talk about Ms. Giffin's writing style. While 'The Memory Keeper's Daughter' was a feast of words, and 'In the Woods' struck the right balance of description and action, 'Baby Proof' is seriously lacking on both fronts. Description was sparse and the writing was rapid-fire action without much thought or feeling behind it. As Brian would say, "There's not a lot of chicken on that bone."  This book is a bare, bleached bone of printed material.

Not to mention, the lack of attention to detail just makes the novel sloppy. I HATE sloppy. At one point, Claudia mentions something about a present an ex-girlfriend sent to Ben during their "first year of dating." Huh? You met and married him within seven months. You didn't date for a year. This happens several times though out the novel, particularly in regards to their friends, Annie and Ray and their baby.  Ben and Claudia's divorce doesn't coincide with the baby's growth or the seasons.  They seem to exist in separate universes where time is not a factor. This screams to me poor writing and worse editing.

The only way I feel I can end this review adequately is with a quote from "Billy Madison" (tweaked, of course, to fit the subject matter):

"Ms. Giffin, what you've just written is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent book were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

Grade:  D

7 Comments

They live!

7/22/2009

0 Comments

 

My favorite characters are still alive!

My sister and her husband just called to tell me that while out book shopping, they not only found 'In the Woods' but also the follow-up novel, 'The Likeness.' Ironically enough, the first chapter of 'The Likeness' follows 'In the Woods' in my copy, but I just never read that far ahead.

'The Likeness' is still first-person narrative but is from Cassie's point of view, not Rob's. As Kelly read me the back of the book jacket, it appears that it takes place six months after 'In the Woods' ended.  I read the first chapter and like it so far. Looks like Brian is going to the book store tonight...

I'm a little sad that Rob isn't narrating. Here's hoping he makes an appearance in the novel...okay, okay, I admit, I do have a bit of a crush on Rob. I know it's probably unhealthy (just call me Jillian), but I really liked him. I hope he comes back.

Thank you, Kelly and Jake! You totally made my night. :-)

0 Comments

Book Review: "In the Woods" by Tana French

7/22/2009

1 Comment

 

Okay, folks, listen to me carefully.

Run - don't walk - to read this book.

Run. Run fast!

If you are in a book club, "In the Woods" needs to be your next selection. If you are a person that only reads one book a year, make this your yearly book.

This book was so good, I was tempted to chew on the binding. (Paper has been sounding good to me lately - maybe pregnancy-related? Pica, anyone?) Also, I cried when it ended, not because of the content, but more because I was not yet ready to say good-bye to the characters. They truly felt like old friends.  I've only felt this way about two books in the past - "I Know This Much is True" by Wally Lamb, and the first Harry Potter book. Thankfully, Dominick & Co. reappeared in Lamb's most recent novel, "The Hour I First Believed" and J.K. Rowling was kind enough to give us six more Harry installments. I don't know if Ms. French will continue the characters of Rob Ryan and Cassie Maddox, but here's hoping...

What, you are asking, is this wonderful book about? Oh, child murder. Possible child sex crimes. Abduction. Grief. Loss. Survivor guilt. You know, fun stuff. If there is a way to make child murder upbeat (much like a comedy about the Holocaust), Ms. French has done it masterfully. "Upbeat" is probably too positive of a word, but considering the subject matter, the novel is written in such a quick, quirky manner, I found myself giggling through various parts. It's in first-person narrative, which helps, the main character has such a sarcastic wit to him, it's hard to not smile.

Within the first five pages, readers learn that Adam Rob Ryan is not your usual Irish detective. At the age of twelve, he and his two best friends went into the woods to play one night near their suburban Dublin homes, but only child came out. Adam was found by police hours later, clinging to a tree, nearly catatonic, with his sneakers full of blood. Police were never able to solve the crime, and the other two children were never found. The mystery of what happened that night haunts him to present day, despite his attempts to keep his past a secret.

Now at the age of 32, while working on the Murder squad, Adam (now Rob) and his partner Cassie find themselves working on a child murder case in the exact same wooded area that Rob's friends disappeared. Everyone is a suspect; the little girl's highly dysfunctional family, the archeological crew that was working on a dig in the woods, the politicians who want to pave over the woods and build a new motorway, mysterious men wearing dark tracksuits that were seen in the area. The murdered little girl's father is head of the organization to stop the motorway from being built, making him (and his family) the perfect target for overzealous city council members and their agenda. And most importantly, is there a link between what happened to Rob's friends and present day?

I don't want to give too much away, because the ending really does satisfy. Ms. French could have made this is into a classic 'who-dunnit' novel, and it still would have been a solid read. But she goes farther than that. She explores the adorably platonic relationship between Rob and Cassie.  She highlights what it must be like for Rob, the only living survivor of a hideous crime (yet with no memory it) to exist in everyday society, his secret just barely below the surface. And best of all, she describes in what I considered near-perfect detail what it is like to work in a shadowy, murky job yet at the end of the day, be able to let go of work stress and be, well, normal. 

That last part is what really hit home for me. While police work is clearly different than therapy, there is still a lot of overlap. Unless you work (or have worked) in those fields, it's almost impossible to describe what it's like to come home and make a salad for dinner after witnessing a marriage blow up in your face, only hours early. Or to fold laundry after spending the day with a convicted juvenile sex offender who told you in ludicrious detain the extent of his crimes. There is such a fine line between the commonplace and obscene; yet, if you aren't exposed to it on a regular basis, it's easy to forget the obscene exists, or exists only in movies and literature.

What is more interesting is that unless you have worked in those fields, it's nearly impossible to understand what it is like to carry around that kind of information. Burnout in both fields is very high, and for good reason. When still in practice, there were times when I would find myself looking over my dinner at Brian, grilled chicken speared on my fork, desperately trying to pay attention to what he was saying while my mind wandered back my own day. Bipolar patient hospitalized. Adolescent girl still cutting. Depressed patient not responding to medication. Life doesn't stop just because you had a bad day, but it is hard when someone's worst day is your everyday.

Fellow therapist and co-worker Claudia and I used to commiserate over some of the more random things we'd hear in session. In an effort to better understand our clients, we spent tons of time researching their lifestyles and habits. Swinging. S&M. Diaper fetish. Pirates. And my personal favorite: furbies. (don't ask).We joked that if the FBI ever confiscated our computers, we'd have a lot of explaining to do.

If you don't have good support, it's enough to make a person go mad. That's why the relationship between Rob and Cassie comes across as so genuine to me; they work in this crazy world that no one else can even imagine.

The novel is well-written without being pretenious. While "The Memory Keeper's Daughter" was fairly heavy-handed with use of imagery, "In the Woods" is a much easier read but with the same depth and complexity. Ms. French also captures the world of modern Ireland brillantly without the use of stereotypes or excessive slang.

Overall, this has been one of the most satisfying books I've read all summer. I am dying to talk to someone else about it, so if you get a chance, read it. Then call me so we can discuss.

Grade: A+

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